The Third Book The 18th Chapter - Contain Your Demon

Contain your Demon

July 10, 2020

Have you ever experienced a moment of flow and accomplishment?  You work so hard and achieve so much, but life throws you a curveball.  Perhaps something you never anticipated and something so powerfully personal that you feel emotions and distress about your demons returning.  You remember that you have worked so hard for all you have accomplished, but now have to work even harder to control your demons. Your sense of pain may have you reverting back to what used to numb it. The pain may seem unbearable leaving you wonder if you will have the strength to contain your demons. I have an experience to share, which may help you realize you have the power to contain your demons and continue to become stronger.

Do you have faith in the Spirit of Christ in order to allow that spirit to work within you?  My story begins with my daughter. At 17, she became pregnant with my beautiful granddaughter. During that time, I could only imagine how she may have been overwhelmed by the magnitude of what she had learned and how she and her fiancé’s lives had instantly changed forever. She was fortunate enough to have discovered a faith-based nonprofit organization. The organization was established to help young parents prepare for the unknown. My daughter and her fiancé ended up getting through a challenging time and now my little grandbaby is nearly two years old. Recently, the organization requested my daughter and her fiancé record a video of their experience and share the emotions they encountered as they navigated their pregnancy. They had considered an abortion, but quickly realized that through the support of this organization, they didn't need to choose that option. When my daughter was first asked to record the video, she didn’t feel comfortable. Our family encouraged her to share her precious story, as it may change another’s life forever.  A few weeks ago, the video was recorded and recently aired.  It did change someone’s life.

Not long ago, a relationship ended for me that had been a very painful and uncomfortable to process. There was a brief moment in time when the relationship ended that some communication occurred. A moment in time, I will never forget, as the offer was phone number to a therapist. At the time, I didn't realize the significance of that gift until today. As I began working on my issues with my therapist, a key take away was the importance of lowering my anxiety. I have been diagnosed with anticipatory anxiety.  A way to control this anxiety is through various breathing techniques and strategies. Just before my daughter’s video aired, I was struggling with the feeling of pain, sense of loss, and feeling of confusion. I haven’t been able to piece together the puzzle as to why this has all occurred. For the first time, I was fighting to process my feelings and my demons were coming to the surface. My demons wanted me to drink again so that I didn't have to feel the pain. Implementing the new breathing strategies, I was able to control my anticipatory anxiety and recognized what was happening and had the strength not turn to alcohol. I was able to deal with the moment, though challenging. I had wondered how I would push through and not return to patterns that did not add value to my life. Our demons don’t go away after our first steps of embracing Christ, but with his strength, we can make choices so we do not repeat.

I realized this morning if I wasn't given the gift of my new therapist, my anxiety would've got out of control, and I would resort to drinking. The self-control of my anxiety allowed me to welcome the presence of Christ.  His spirit provides me strength to not repeat past troubles. I have realized, in so many ways that as you follow the path laid out for you and you embrace Christ, there are small moments in your Life that help you conquer the most critical moments. Without the gift of my therapist, I know I would not be sharing my story now.

As I was able to pull myself out of the awful feeling of depression angst of a relapse, I was able to prepare for the video presentation of my daughter, her fiancé and my granddaughter. I shared it on Facebook live.  After the presentation was completed, I received a text from a friend, who just happened to be viewing, that shared with me the value of the presentation. I gave him a call, and as we talked about the video, I realized it had changed his life forever.  I realized the importance of my daughter sharing her story. My friend has made the choice to take his first step, and he's made the choice to embrace the spirit of Christ.

How do you measure the significance of one small act that leads to something that is a God-like experience? All the small stories put together of choices that many individuals had to make and obstacles had to be conquered that lead to my friend’s experience. If my daughter didn't share her story and didn't push through her fear, the moment wouldn't have happened. If my relationship past didn't share with me my therapist, I wouldn't have had the strength not to drink and I wouldn't have been filled with the spirit of Christ. With the absence of the Spirit in my life, I wouldn't have shared the video on Facebook, and my friend may not have embraced Christ.

All of your actions determine where we will go and how we will experience life. God is a loving God.  He only wants the best, but it's up to us to make the choices in our lives that empower us. After I spoke to my friend, I was so excited I texted my mentor. The mentor who, on November 4, invited me to give my life to Christ, as I cautiously accepted and nervously took my first step. I was so excited because I was able to take what I learned from him and pass it on to my friend.  With our conversation, his Life is now changed forever. My mentor and I know that it wasn’t us that have changed someone’s life, but the Spirit working through us. All the glory of this Life changing event has to go to where it came from, it’s origin and that is God.

As my mentor and I talked and I shared the beautiful experience, he asked if my ex-girlfriend had the spirit of Christ. My feeling was not at this time. He asked if I would be open to praying for her and her salvation and for her to find and allow the Spirit of Christ to work within her. As he led the prayer, I began to feel strong emotions.  Three times my brain wanted to reject my emotions. My brain didn't want to deal with them.  I knew for me to grow and to grow my connection with Christ, I had to let these feelings exist within me. As my emotions grew, I had a quickness of breath and a shedding of tears as I was filled with the Spirit of Christ. I had the realization of the sacrifice of Christ sacrificing His life for me; I felt the significance of his sacrifice.  I could feel His love flow through me. I knew, in that moment, that I had to give my life just as Jesus did for me. He was put on this earth to save all of us.  He was put on this earth as an example of how to live our lives. We were put on this earth to embrace this gift. Through this gift, we are able to fully live and experience life.  We are able to fully understand the sacrifice that was given to us. Once I had this realization and awareness, I knew I had to pay it forward by giving love and kindness to everyone that has been in my life.

As time has passed, with the new skills I now have in my life, I realize that today is better than yesterday, I realize tomorrow will be better than today.  I realize it is about one step at a time. It is one step at a time to embrace this life, one step at a time to love others, and one step at a time to share this amazing gift.  The amazing gift grows daily.  You never know the value it will give someone else. Have the faith to believe this gift was given to you. This gift has no conditions and is always waiting and ready when you are. It is long lasting and will not let you down.  It will not hurt you, and if you allow your faith to grow, your positive qualities will be magnified through the Spirit of Christ.