The Importance of Feedback in My Life

The Importance of Feedback in My Life

If you've been reading my writings for a while, you know I like to mix in a story, a little vulnerability, and, more often than not, a nudge of biblical truth woven in along the way. Today is no different, except this one hits a little closer to home—because it's about feedback. Now, I know feedback can be one of those tricky things. It's right up there with patience, humility, and trying to assemble IKEA furniture without losing your Christianity altogether. It sounds good in theory, but when you're standing there on the receiving end of feedback, heart wide open, it suddenly becomes clear this isn't for the faint of heart.

But over the years—and trust me, it’s been years—I've come to realize how important feedback actually is in my life. Not just any feedback, though. I’ve learned (sometimes the hard way) that there are a few critical questions that need to be answered before feedback should ever be welcomed into my world, let alone integrated into my life. If you rush this process or let just anyone speak into your life, well, let's just say the enemy loves to twist a good thing into self-doubt, insecurity, or worse.

The Heart and Mind Alignment

First and foremost, what I've learned—and what I’m still learning—is that feedback requires alignment. Not alignment of circumstances or achievements, but alignment of the heart and mind. You need to be in a place where you can actually hear what is being said, not what your insecurities think is being said. That alignment? It comes from Christ. From a heart that is, even on the rough days, leaning toward Jesus.

In Proverbs 4:23, we're reminded:
"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."

That includes how we process feedback. If our hearts are not guarded, we let bitterness, insecurity, pride, or even misplaced shame dictate how feedback lands in our lives. That’s when feedback can become dangerous instead of helpful. So, for me, feedback only holds value if my heart is steady—rooted in Christ, and my mind is focused—not racing with comparison or fear.

The Environment of Safety and Love

Following closely behind that is the importance of the environment where feedback is given. You could have the most well-crafted words, but if they are thrown into a space filled with judgment, ego, or hidden agendas, those words won’t bear fruit—they'll bear scars.

That's why I’ve become so cautious (and intentional) about who I let speak into my life. My mentors, my closest friends, my church leadership—they've earned that space. And they protect it. One of the greatest blessings God gives us, after salvation, is community. But not all community is safe community.

The Apostle Paul understood this dynamic when he wrote in Ephesians 4:15:
"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ."

Truth and love—it’s not one or the other; it’s both. And that's exactly the environment I’ve come to cherish, especially in my church and within the men's leadership team I’ve been walking alongside.

The God-Anointed Truth

And finally, the question I ask before receiving feedback is this: Is this God-anointed? Does this feedback carry the fingerprints of the Holy Spirit? Is it seasoned with love, anchored in Scripture, and delivered with humility? If the answer is yes, then I lean in, even if it's hard to hear. But if it feels like it's marinated in pride or insecurity—even if it's packaged nicely—I pray for discernment to set it down.

John 16:13 tells us:
"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth."

Feedback, at its best, is guided by the Holy Spirit. It doesn't condemn; it convicts. It doesn't shame; it sharpens. And that's exactly the kind of feedback that has shaped me, refined me, and helped me become a little more like the man God created me to be.

A Story of Feedback, Faith, and the Force Multiplier

Now, if you've read my writings, you know I don't get through reflections like this without a story. So buckle in, because this one, well, this one changed me.

About a year ago, I started actively working with the men’s leadership team at my church. It was the start of a new season for me—a season of stepping up and stepping out in ways I hadn’t before. One of the themes God kept pressing on my heart was this idea of being a force multiplier for the Kingdom. What could I do—me, just one flawed guy—to amplify the reach of God’s Kingdom here on earth?

As the church began getting to know me, naturally, the topic of my salvation story came up. You may have read about it already—the God moment I had in Belize. If you haven’t, I’ll tell you now, go find it. It'll give you goosebumps. Not because of me, but because of how good God is when He shows up in undeniable ways.

The Seed of Testimony

After sharing bits of that story with some of the leaders, one of the senior pastors came to me. He didn’t press, but he planted a seed. He said, “Craig, you should share your testimony with the church.” Now, if you’ve ever walked with the Holy Spirit long enough, you know how He works. Seeds get planted, and sure enough, someone else waters them.

A few months went by. Our men's group began preparing for an upcoming retreat—a weekend meant for men from all walks of life to grow together, be challenged, and ultimately, draw nearer to Christ. As planning unfolded, a tradition came up: someone would share their testimony—how they were saved and how they now serve Christ.

It was at that moment that I realized the Holy Spirit had given me the most gentle, yet undeniable, nudge. It wasn’t audible, but it was as clear as day. A wink, a nonverbal push that said, “This is your moment.” So, with more nerves than confidence, I offered to share.

Kiel's Feedback

In the weeks leading up to the retreat, I worked on my testimony. I wrote down my thoughts, trying to find that balance of vulnerability and structure. I thought it was decent. Then, I sat down with Kiel—a mentor, friend, and brother in Christ.

He read it over, then leaned back and asked, “Craig, this is good. But… do you think there could be more?”

At first, I didn’t get it. I thought, “More? What more? I shared the big moment—the Belize story—the encounter with God. What else is there?”

And that’s when Kiel, in true Christ-like fashion, challenged me deeper.

He said, “What about you? What about the details? What about your struggles—the raw, vulnerable parts of the journey? You gave a great account of the moment, but what about how Jesus made you feel? People need that. They need your story—the full story.”

Suddenly, I understood. Kiel wasn’t after theatrics. He was after authenticity. And more importantly, he was following the model of Jesus. Because Jesus doesn’t just love our polished testimonies—He loves all the messy, unfinished details in between. And He wastes nothing, even our lowest points.

The Breaking Point and Breakthrough

I remember the first time I shared anything remotely personal publicly. It was 2015, my first blog post. I didn't think it was that good, nor did I share deep personal details. But I’ll never forget the moment I hit "send." I was sitting in my old office, the sun pouring in, and tears welling up in my eyes.

The flood of emotions came crashing over me—fear, rejection, that old enemy of “you’re not good enough.” But I pushed send anyway. That moment cracked open a door that, years later, God would swing wide open.

So, fast forward to that September evening—Friday night, 120 men staring back at me. I was ready… ish. I’d worked on my testimony, revised it with Kiel’s feedback, but truthfully, I still knew I was holding back.

Moments before stepping up, I confessed to Kiel, “I’m nervous. I’ve written blogs, shared my heart on paper—but this… live… raw… vulnerable… I’ve never done that.”

Kiel prayed over me. A simple, heartfelt prayer for strength.

And then, I shared.

The Enemy’s Distraction

The most raw, emotional moment came as I shared not just my salvation, but the aftermath. How, as a rookie Christian, I got distracted. The enemy dangled a beautiful, worldly woman in front of me. And like many before me, I took the bait.

I told the room how I could literally feel the Holy Spirit’s presence diminish during that season. It became a dark, lonely time. And yet, in that darkness, God’s grace never left me. He didn’t scold. He didn’t abandon me. He simply waited—with love, patience, and that unending grace only Jesus offers.

As I shared, the tears came. Not performative tears—but the gut-level, I-can’t-hold-this-back kind of tears. And as I paused, scanning the room, I saw compassion. I saw understanding. I saw community.

The very feedback that challenged me to go deeper—to share the hard parts—became the doorway to freedom and connection.

Biblical References on Feedback and Testimony

Let me share a few biblical anchors that frame everything I’ve learned about feedback:

1. Proverbs 27:17 –
   "As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another."
   True feedback is meant to sharpen, not to wound.
2. Hebrews 12:11 –
   "No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it."
   Feedback, even when hard to hear, produces righteousness and peace when received in the right spirit.
3. Revelation 12:11 –
   "They triumphed over him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony; they did not love their lives so much as to shrink from death."
   Your testimony is a weapon. It overcomes darkness. Feedback helps sharpen that testimony.

Three Ways to Gain Strength to Share Your Story

1. Root Yourself in Scripture
   Before you share, before you listen to feedback, spend time in God’s Word. His truth provides the filter to discern good feedback from harmful noise.
2. Surround Yourself with the Right People
   Feedback is only as valuable as the source it comes from. Find mentors, friends, and leaders who love Jesus more than they love your comfort zone. They’ll push you, but they’ll do it in love.
3. Pray for Courage and Humility
   Before every moment of sharing—whether it's a testimony, a conversation, or a public speaking opportunity—pray. Ask the Holy Spirit for courage to be bold, and humility to be real.

The Journey Continues

In closing, let me say this. My role within the men’s leadership team, my role within the Kingdom—it’s far from over. This journey is just beginning. But now, with every step forward, I carry the lessons of feedback, the strength of testimony, and the reminder that our stories—messy, beautiful, redeemed—are meant to be shared.

The enemy would love nothing more than for us to stay silent. But Jesus? He’s in the business of turning broken stories into Kingdom victories.

So, take that first step. Lean into the feedback. Let your testimony ring out. The Kingdom is waiting.