Alchemist of Self
February 14,
2021
Alchemy -
the spiritual process of transformation and creation of your new life. I feel
it is fair to say we all desire to have a better life tomorrow than the one we
have today. This could be something like a deep spiritual desire to become more
Christ-like or something less significant like a better public speaker. They both
have the common theme it will take effort and dedication to transform yourself.
The hope of realizing a better future is not enough. The idea now has to be put
into action.
I have
noticed a pattern that when we desire to become better and level up is when it can
become more difficult for our hope to become a reality. We can be tested at a
level we never thought was possible. In my experience, if there was failure, it
was because I made choices that were not supported by my hope. Sometimes when
you look back on small choices, they are the catalysts of our biggest failures.
Generally, small choices either bring people into our lives or keep people in
our lives longer and sometimes in an unhealthy relationship. Resulting in the frustration
of not going where we originally wanted to go. Though the people in our life may
have added to our failure, we sometimes don't see the correlation between our
choices and outcomes. We may even experience feelings that God is to blame and
we hold Him responsible for not answering our prayers.
In
considering the metal refining process, the hotter the fire is, results in a better
quality of the raw metal because the impurities are cleaned away. The process
can be repeated, and each time there are more impurities revealed, and it
becomes harder to remove the deeply embedded impurities. In thinking about the
pattern of removing impurities and applying it to my life, I would suggest it
is Christ working within me. Magical events seem to appear out of nowhere and things
that didn't exist a moment before become existing. It reminds me of faith. The
relentless current of the unseen giver of what seems impossible to be real that
supports our being.
I haven't written
for a while as I was going through a fire and I was resisting the process of
Christ working in my life. I didn't have the energy to write or share, and a
lot of the time, I felt depressed with the current world events. I hear endless
reports of fear and division vs. kindness. It has impacted me and has caused me
to slow down my passion to disciple in the way God has given me to connect with
others through writing. However, even in the moments of not sharing, it was
like God was acting to help build my experiences and build my understanding of Him.
In late
November 2020, my son and I went to a larger city in Western Canada. I wanted
to show my son that life still is amazing, and if you work hard, your wildest
imaginations or dreams can become real – it is like magic in real life and you
are your magician. Even with all the current obstacles we are all facing, there
is beauty and positive opportunity should we chose to embrace them. It might be
harder to find positive experiences, but they are still there.
It was about
halfway through the day when I met a beautiful woman named Lisa, and as she
spotted me, a feeling came over me that I have not experienced before. With
reflection, I know that moment was divine, and at the time, I felt a deep
connection. It was like Lisa knew me. Even though we have never met, I felt a
sense of knowing her and understanding of her. I didn't think we would have a 2nd
meeting. However, when we were traveling home, I received a text from her.
Lisa has
striking natural beauty and spirit. Hidden beneath her beauty is an even greater
beauty unseen to the eye. She has a deepness of character, elegance, and
intelligence. Yet her soul carries pain just as deep. A person that started
with pain as a young girl and the fire has not let up as the years have passed.
I realized that a friendship of true acceptance and non-judgement formed by both
of us as we have shared our pasts. She has provided me insight that I
never had. I feel I have provided a sense of insight into what she forgot long
ago. Our choices and other people, but not God, caused the pain that is in both
of our lives. At some point in both of our lives, we have blamed God. I now know
that meeting her was divine in nature. It was a moment that I thought would
only last a day, but has since has impacted my life forever. One of the
greatest lessons she shared is that God will share His love on every occasion
if I seek it. Even though it may not be in a traditional church of worship, God
places opportunities for us to transform into a better version ourselves. It
all depends on our view of that moment. Do we allow love to flow into our lives
or do we hold onto the impurities that God is trying to remove?
I have
learned that His love and grace are endless. The moment we feel we are not
entitled to either one is the moment the voice of the devil is gaining a
foothold in our lives. Lisa and I share the gift of being able to see the best
in everyone; however, we sometimes fail to see the significance of that gift within
ourselves. Sometimes we will not see the inner child that is beautiful and
created in God's image. We feel we are not worthy of our dreams and fail to
create those dreams into our reality. The Story of Lisa and Craig is not
traditional, yet with all the flaws in this story, it makes it one of relevance
and significance. It is a story based on acceptance, sincerity, past trauma and
emotional wounds, yet a story based on the undercurrent of the love of God.
People may
come and go in our lives. Some experiences are good. When people don’t stay in
our lives, it can be reflective of a negative experience. I feel people who
stay are true friends and add value to our lives and are Christ-like in nature. The
moment of realization has taken me years to develop. In my past, I was only allowing myself to see
the good in others. Though, that is a positive trait, it can become toxic when
I ignoring boundaries being crossed. I struggle allowing the love of God to
support me while fighting to hold onto negative impurities. A longtime friend
of mine, Joe, shared the song “People Are Crazy” by Billy Currington. In listening to the lyrics, it is very
applicable to my feelings.
One never
knows what magical and spiritual journey is around the corner. I believe to
move dreams forward; you have to have the strength and courage to follow them.
Move them from the haze of non-existence to the clarity of a moment, and
through that moment, you will experience the life that is meant for you and for
all of us. The miracles of life are all around us and it truly isn't the
destination, but the present moment. It is in the “now” that carries us to the
destination. The choice to live in love vs fear will allow you to feel a little
bit of heaven on earth. Realize you will face the challenges of life and it
will feel hot as the impurities start to leave your life, but embrace the
impurities leaving you. Search for the feeling of ridding the impurities
because your truth can never be burnt away. Welcome when life is weighing you down,
as that process will lead you to unity. Unity of reality and purpose will bring
about God's love. As the negative impurities leave, the void will be rapidly
filled by the love of God.
I am grateful my son Nicholas trusts in me, and is the best son a father could have, and shared with that unusual day I will always remember. I am so thankful for Lisa’s acceptance and her trust in sharing all that she has. Even though the future is unclear, I can truly say, I have enjoyed the now and have levelled up through this experience that started in November.
