Dec 3/16
The thought of communication, understanding and trust with other people and how that three things can interact with two people. How several different outcomes can be felt from these components. It also can translate into possible bonding issues as well - From there can lead to levels of respect that vary from different levels in people.
Recently I went on a business trip that was overall very positive - however it did take a lot of energy. Prior to the trip I did communicate to someone that I would be very busy and not have a lot of spare time - as this was an important business trip. So based on that communication and understanding an agreement was created between two people. As the week went on the agreement was kept 100 percent of that time. No boundary was crossed, high levels of respect was maintained and a very important learning objective was achieved for me. I realized from this that no energy was drained from me to try to maintain a connection with that person.
A feeling of comfort and understanding was also received during that week - even thought there was almost no contact.
As some of you reading this probably have had experiences of changed demands of communication and understandings put on you from someone else. As a sensitive and kind person - you may have had a feeling - energy drain - and depending on the level of energy drain - you may have tried to meet the demands of changing expectations - that you had not agreed too.
What I did not realize at the time of not understanding - my boundaries were not being respected. So a symptom I would focus on was to try harder to communicate and try to estimate the next changing agreement - which over time, would finally lead me to a state of being completely depleted of my energy and nothing left to give. Which leads to fundamentally low levels of trust between two people as communication is not followed and boundaries ran over by one person to another.
As I reflected on this point I realized I totally missed the root cause and grateful that I have been taught how respected communicate should be between two people. As I thought about this concept it is amazing of how much I would deny who I am as a person with this type of negative behavior in my life.
It seems so clear now as I write this of how unbalanced this type of communication was - at the time I did not see it. Like the frog put in cold water and slowly the temperature of that water increased, the frog did not move which resulted in being cooked alive.
This can be compared to the slow emotional drain of energy in you. So slow at first the changes were not noticed, until you have no energy left. I had no idea what was happening, when I was learning this life's lesson. So grateful of the clarity now that I have been gifted - the gift of understanding.
Like any new learning, I am not an expert at this, however awareness has been achieved and now I am practicing this process of clear communication with being able to realize if there has been follow through or not based on clear understanding between two people. It is now becoming easier to have understanding and agreements. When agreements change without clear communication be mindful of this and that this is happening of your boundaries being crossed. (and no you are not crazy) From there feel the impact of this to you - is it adding or taking away energy from you? Whatever you decide - you will bring more of this into your life.
As it is not possible to control how others treat you - the only choice you have is to remove yourself from interactions from people like this - if these interactions with this person are causing a negative outcome to you.
As I write these words today, I feel myself growing more calm and confident. I am so grateful that I have been given the gift of starting to see positive or negative impact of choices I make directly now.
Thank you to my family and friends that have always been there - like a lighthouse - standing strong and lighting the warnings until I saw them.
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