Do you desire a close inner circle of friends? Have you seen other people with many strong friendships, and wanted to build that in your life as well? Do you know how to accomplish this?
We are all social creatures, and we need to belong and interact with a tribe. I view a tribe as a group of people that helps us when we are weak, and that we give back to when they need our strength. When I was younger I kept my guard in my interactions with others. So high were my walls that I didn't let anyone in, yet I longed for a strong base of friends. I am naturally an introvert and I enjoy being alone. However, once I got older I realized that due to this lack of exposure to good people, I was limiting my opportunities to level up.
I knew I didn't have all the answers, and if I wanted to learn more, that others would freely share their experiences with me. I worried that if people shared with me, they would expect something in return. I realize now that I have a healthy inner circle of people, the environment is one of giving with the hope, and not the expectation, of reciprocation. I also realize that the effort I put into creating and maintaining positive relationships is vital. Even amazing people will drift away if all I do is take from them, or wait for them to contact me.
I learned to allow balance to come into my life, and if a thought of a friend comes to mind, I will reach out to them. Moments of thoughts like these are the universe’s way of talking to us. These thoughts arise from an intuition that someone needs our support, or we have a gift for someone else. Listening to these clues from the universe can help guide you to act in a way to add value, for yourself and others.
Once I started to follow this pattern in my life, I noticed a strengthening of my band of fellowships. My inner circle began to grow and now I am maintaining these long-term relationships at a level I didn’t experience before. I also noticed that almost all conversations start with: "it's great to hear from you and I was thinking about you." In my past quite often, I wouldn't reach out to others when these thoughts came to me, for two reasons: the fear of extending myself and choosing to be vulnerable, and of course, the concern that they might want something in return.
Reaching out is sometimes about choosing to be vulnerable to judgement and rejection. It’s a hurdle that takes self-compassion, and recognition of your own value as a person, to turn into a habit. Truly reaching out is not looking for validation from others, but looking to give them validation and energy.
If you are already effectively maintaining long term relationships, when is the last time you have taught this ability to someone else that needs this skill to level up? Perhaps one conversation with them will plant the seed of awareness to start growing this habit. Teaching others the habit of reaching out, and the courage to build it, is powerful way to increase the strength of connections in your inner circle. If they take your example and run with it by teaching others, imagine the impact on your greater community, all started from one conversation. Strong connections are like well-maintained roads, which allow the traffic of kindness and understanding to flow freely back and forth.
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