The Second Book The 85th Chapter - Choices and Health

Dec 13/17

When is the last time you have checked your emotional and mental health?  What is your current gauge of how you feel?  Can you still feel a wide range of emotions or do you find yourself in a place where you don't feel anymore?

When I was a young boy growing up on a farm, I often would spend warm summer afternoons exploring the country side.  One day I decided I could fly like Superman and with that thought I scampered up to the top of a 15 foot cliff.  As I looked down I was filled with excitement of what the feeling will be like to experience flight.  I launched myself of the cliff thinking I would have a nice gradual glide and fall to the ground.  As I struck the ground with my left arm first, I heard a loud snap followed at the same moment extreme pain in my left arm.

Off to the hospital I went and shortly after an ex-ray a cast was created to set my broken bone.  In our current modern times it is quite easy to see and repair basic physical wounds like these.  Yet when it comes to our general mental health it is not as easy to repair our past hurts and damages.  Not only is it difficult to identity our hurt but once that brokenness is identified, it is also difficult for us to put in the effort for that repair to occur.

Unlike physical bones that usually our body will repair automatically our emotional wounds will not heal by themselves.  I have heard the phrase time heals all emotional wounds and I don't agree.  If we don't spend the same amount of energy on the impact of those wounds to reverse the damage, no amount of time will heal. 

Always the first step to recovery is the acknowledgement that something is wrong.  That same pattern occurred to me when I broke my arm.  Healing always starts with addressing the source of our pain.  Its easier to identify physical pain as it hurts immediately once it occurs at a higher level than our emotional pain.  Yet if our emotional damage isn't treated, eventually that pain will become so strong we won't be able to feel the wide range of emotions we were intended to experience.

Our foundation of all health is based on our daily choices, which applies to our emotional health. Today in our society it is common to spend hours in a week perfecting our physical body in both exercise and diet.  Yet during that same week how much time are you spending on creating a mental mindset of health?

There has been some increased awareness of mental health lately yet the focus is still low compared to our physical health.  If you have found yourself feeling your in your abyss of emotional existence.  First start by being honest with yourself and acknowledge your emotional brokenness and start your work required to heal.  Make this day your first day of going to your mental and emotional health gym.

The Second Book The 84th Chapter - Professionalism and Flexibility

Dec 3/17

How do you increase the your level of leadership?  Do you apply a combination of flexibility in your day when your leading yourself and others?  What is your current organizations culture in regard to being autonomous in your flexibility decisions?

Recently I experienced first hand a combination of both flexibility and professionalism. that was on a recent trip with WestJet Airlines.  Everything was going to plan with the typically loading of the plane, safety demo complete and the in flight service was just about to start.  It was at that moment the normal process met a minor mishap.  The flight attendant came to me first, as I was sitting in the front of the plane, and asked me what I wanted for something to eat or drink.  I replied with, what are the choices?  She went to the seat pocket to pull out the menu and there wasn't one there.  She went to the seat beside me and looked for the the menu in that seat pocket and it wasn't there either.  She realized on the second look there was not menus in any of the seats.

What happened next was a great example of professionalism and leadership culture flexibility.  First of all it was probably someones task to put the menus in the seat pockets but currently there were all up in a storage compartment wrapped neatly in the original packaging.  She quietly returned the menus to the storage compartment and disappeared to the small galley in the front of the plane.  Not long after she returned with a neatly stocked tray of examples of all the food that was available on that flight.  She proceeded down the aisle asking each person what they wanted and completed the in-flight service without a hitch.

This quick redirection by the flight attendant was effectively corrected without anyone else on the plane noticing except for me.  The acceptance of her reality and execution of a new plan happened in quick succession with a net result of the passengers not experiencing any negative outcomes.  Kudos to her skill and also the environment that WestJet has created for the execution of live critical thinking problem solving skills.

Great people allowed to be great within a large organization.  A balance of standard process needs to exist to provide consistent service quality but the unexplainable magic has to be created.  That magic is what we all strive for in our life, as that magic injects excitement into our life.  Most of us have to work for a living so its important to make choices where work can be fulfilling and fun.  Not only fun but the organization has created a work environment that encourages your growth and development.  An environment where you feel comfortable to exercise your autonomy is something to strive to have in your life.  Or if  your a leader to be able to set that environment for your people to have autonomy so that outcomes like this can happen.

Create an environment of magic that people will feel value and are contributing more that the bare minimum.   By doing this the needle of commitment will grow to a point it will appear to become a living organism of positive culture.  The results of this culture will then start to erase all the typically problems many mangers will discuss and not sure of how to solve them.

The Second Book The 83rd Chapter - A Moment of Sharing

Dec 2/17

In this chapter I am going to branch out a little further than my usual on a very personal experience.  One of my great friends, Patricia, has encouraged me to share this painful story. 

I first met Patricia about six years ago when she started working closely with me in my previous role.  During that time we worked hard together and shared success and some set backs as well.  As we got to know each other we shared a little of our family background and relationships. 

As time progressed it became clear she had a healthy relationship with her long time partner Cory.  I even spent sometime with Cory and realized he is another person that has a kind and thoughtful soul.  I was grateful to get to know him and his life's observations he shared with me are very insightful.

During this time period until roughly a year and a half ago, I was also in a relationship.  This is where this story is going to get tough to share with you.  However my goal is to continue my journey to become more healthy and help at least one other person see the abuse they might be under.

When I met up with Patrica a few weeks ago, her comment was wow - have you ever grown and changed.  She expressed of how happy she was for me that I have been on my own for the last year and a half.  A question for you, the reader, - In your current relationship is there anyone worried about your well being or perhaps some suggestions to change your current path?  If so, then this chapter is for you and is intended to help you provide a focus on what you need for you and what is currently impacting your life.

To this day I still care for the person that was in my life and I do miss her still.  So lets wind the clock back to the start - In the beginning of my relationship with her, it was incredible and amazing.  One filled with kindness, understanding and a general sense of I finally found my best friend.  Someone that I can share all of life's ups and downs and generally enjoy her company everyday. 

After about a year things started to slowly shift away from the honeymoon period.  The best way I can describe it was a transfer of anger and resentment of her past failed relationships onto ours.  This anger slowly lead into friction in our relationship and I felt I needed to work harder to prove my commitment to her.  Which I did, some of the things I did was to eliminate some of my friends in my life to try to maintain trust and show her she is the most important person to me.

Yet it seemed the harder I tried to meet the needs of the relationship the higher the barriers that were raised.  Once I started to distant my friends, I noticed now as I look back, that with one word I spoke to her could cause a dramatic issue followed by a confrontation.  If your an emphatic person you will know how uneasy the feeling is when one word will bring down negative energy to you from another person.  You will also know when this starts to happen of how much you will want to avoid this kind of confrontation. 

My natural personality is one of child like curiosity and I slowly realized I stopped exploring and growing myself to try to stabilize the relationship.  At roughly the two year period, people started to notice I became withdrawn.  My natural child like curiosity was slowly replaced with fear.  Fearful of doing or saying something that would invoke a strong verbal confrontation.  As I am emphatic as well  and to be able to feel such strong emotions projected onto me became draining.

I know I wasn't perfect nor am I even close to that now yet a constant discharge of negative energy started to change my foundation of who I was.  I realize now, at the time I should have stated my boundaries, but I didn't because I was afraid to lose my best friend.  During that time there was moments were I was the happiest I have ever been followed randomly and quickly to the most unsettling times.  I know I should have been stronger but I wasn't able to at the time.  My loyalty, thoughtfulness, compassion remained focused on the relationship the entire time.

Yet as time wore on, my physical health was becoming impacted due to the instability of the relationship.  Also the more I isolated myself from my family and friends.  I am so grateful that most of my family and friends have remained as I emerged out of my darkness.  The darkness I allowed myself to go down was as dark as you could image.  My self-esteem and self-confidence was lowered so low I didn't feel I had any value to anyone anymore.  I remember moments of conversation were it was suggested by her I was too sensitive.  In fact there were moments that I actually wanted to slip from my mortal coil, as the black cloud of depression invaded my whole being. 

It was like the classic example of the struggle of two different energy sources that could no longer be aligned in tandem.  I have now realized I became dependent on her in my life and I tried to maintain that dependency at all costs.  Due to my poor choices the emotional scars have implanted themselves very deep.  The pain that we both caused each other will remain in me for the rest of my life. 

If you can relate to my experience, I encourage you to do a rest.  Take time out for you and listen to some of the folks closest to you.  With the combination of time that was spent and being an empath there isn't a day that goes by that I don't feel that pain.  I also know if we would have remained together that emotional pain would be worse than it currently is.  To delay your decision to exist the relationship will only cause you more pain in the future and the emotional wounds will be that much deeper.  The truth is that no amount of time or help will truly repair that damage that was done.  Yes with time and help the wounds become scabbed over but they will never fully disappear and have your innocence reappear. 

Reach out to someone that is strong and they will help you.  It will take more effort than anything you have done in the past to pull away from that relationship.  In my case. perhaps with time or fate we might be drawn together again, if we both are able to reach a place of being as healthy as we can be.
This same pattern may happen to you and you might rekindle as well.  The important part is to stand up for you and to not let a negative situation break you down anymore.  For me, even now in my quiet moments alone I will still cry as my scars slowly scab over.

The last year and a half  has taught me the value of myself and slowly once again my child like nature is coming out and being more confident.  It has taught me I am a kind and good person.  It has also allowed me to connect with other people that are experiencing this type of relationship as well.  It is very difficult for a man to talk about emotional abuse and even harder to find support groups that actually understand.  For those of you that don't physically know me, I am larger than the average build and height for a male.  I shouldn't have feelings of being truly scared of someone half my size but yet I was terrified. 

I still suffer from moments of anxiety if I think too long about my past.  Society doesn't allow for a "strong man" type to share feelings like these.  As support groups and funding for people like me are hard to find, my goal is to offer some of my support to someone else that might be needing it.  There were several times during the relationship I actually questioned my own sanity.  I questioned right to my core as a person and it had an impact on everything I did everyday.

It has been a long slow climb of my mountain and it has been difficult.  I sill have moments where I miss her very much as I felt she truly was my best friend.  Inside and out she was the most beautiful person I have known at that intimate level.  I also know in her way she truly cared for me as well.

I encourage you to start creating your environment that will enable you to be healthy and emotionally stable.  Know that you can do this and the pain will diminish, but never truly fully go away.  It is like recovering from an addiction and everyday you have to mentally focus on your outcome that is healthy for you.  You will also slip back and want to reunite, but that's ok too.  Just don't be too hard on yourself with a slip and allow that slip to ruin all the hard work you have put into your improvement.

It is love and hope I want all of you to feel when you read this chapter and help others that need your strength.  Or believe in yourself that you can overcome any barrier you might currently have in your life. 

The Second Book The 82nd Chapter - Do You Know Your Gift

Dec 1/17

What makes you unique over the billions of others on this place earth we call home?  If you have identified your gift, do you use it?  If so how often?

In my travels I have had the pleasure to meet a fellow by the name of Brad.  During a few month period he and I would meet on a weekly basis with a group that focuses on sharing and helping each other in our growth.  Several times the group wold discuss our goals and our passion.  During these sharing moments I noticed Brad was quiet and vague when his turn would come to share his goals and aspirations.  Then one day he shared with the group, I don't know my passion or my gift.

I was shocked to hear that from him, as my perception his gift is public speaking.  During all the meetings he would command attention when he spoke due to a combination of his powerful voice and the energy he gave out.  Brad is the type of person that when he speaks, the room goes silent and still.

One of my gifts is the ability to see peoples gifts in a moment of observing them.  It was so clear to me his gift is speaking and that was why I was surprised he didn't see his gift.  I thought of how I could be his bridge to clear his sight and so he too could see his own gift. 

So the next meeting when I felt his pause about his goals and the direction he was taking in his life, it was then I spoke up.  It was in this pause I asked him, are you aware of the presence you command when you speak?  The room went silent, Brad paused for a moment and said no, I then suggested perhaps your gift is too speak to others.  I comment on the fact that when you speak you make an impact on others and I can feel your passion come alive with each word you express.

A week goes past and then Brad commented, I can now see my path and I now know my goals.  That unique gift of Brad is too speak and now he can also see it.  He commented once you see you can no longer go back and un-see.  How can you measure the impact of this one conversation with one person, when in a brief moment their entire view of themselves has now been changed forever.

As for as how often do you use your gift, as much as your able to possibly use it.  I spoke before on working your obsessions, this is your time now to work your obsession constantly.  By working it, you will grow your gift and create your energy to survive.  Also by using your gift that will create the magic that will attract others to your craft.

With some inward reflection you will know this gift and do not be deterred by others who don't understand you, as you start to apply your gift.  Like everything in your life, you will need to practice for 1000's of hours to master you talent.  That snap shot in time when your meeting someone new and successful can be replicated in you.  Realize before that snapshot in time when you met this person, they to have spent perhaps years perfecting their craft. 

The Second Book The 81st Chapter - Don't Waste Your Time

Nov 26/17

Do you feel your making the most of each of your day's?  What do you do if you have some spare time?  Are you creating value with your time or wasting your most precious resource of time?

The term consistency beats talent all day long comes to mind.  I have talked before about your obsessions and the need for you to practice your passion obsessions.  My thoughts went to my friend Todd and in one conversation a few months ago he planed a seed with me that raised my awareness of the value of time.

I was always aware of the passage of time but never really understood the full impact of personal time management.  Todd has a gift of asking questions in the right moment and one conversation I was sharing about my journey of growth.  As the conversation grew he asked me if I felt I was making the most value with my time.  Up to that moment I never thought of time in that capacity and I knew I could do better with my time management.  One of my wasters of time is social media exploring.  I explore social media for other connections, ideas and to build a network of like minded people.  This is my intent however my personality allows myself to get distracted and follow an endless trail of information on the internet.

It is these moments, I realize I am making choices that are not aligning up to my goal and dreams.  The power of that question, if I am using my time effectively has made an impact.  I am aware when I am wasting time and will consciously make another decision.  An example of this though process is right now, I had several distractions today, but I knew I had to focus and share this chapter.  If only one person reads these words and finds value in them, how it is possible to measure this time? 

Recently I was watching Jimmy Fallon interview Jerry Seinfeld on the Tonight Show.  In that interview Jerry touched on the fact it takes a lot of work to become successful in your life.  He also touched on the fact your passion needs to become your obsession.  With that lead in, Jimmy showed a picture of Jerry and a street full of paper bits that Jerry created in his first four years.  A street full of words and a visual symbol of Jerry's dream.  Not all of the material was successful yet most was and due to that obsession he has touched the lives of millions.

Success doesn't necessary mean to touch the lives of millions.  Success means you have used your time effectively and created your chapter and increased your own self-worth.  I am guessing you know the next question I am going to ask you.  That question is, are you wasting your time?  If you answer yes, what are you going to do different starting today? Tomorrow? This year?  More importantly, how are you going to use your time that aligns up to your natural gifts?

The Second Book The 80th Chapter - Relive Your Moments

Nov 26/17

Do you ever ask yourself how to get value out of your past?  When do you relive your moments and how much time will you spend in those moment?

The other day I logged onto my Facebook account and a memory popped up of a year ago.  This is when my son and I were at an airport heading out for another adventure.  Both of us had smiles on our faces with the excitement of travel that lay ahead of us.  I took a few moments to remember that time with my son and relived that trip.

As I relived that trip I didn't remember the financial costs at all, all the remember was the time I spent with my son.  I often find when life's pressure seems to be mounting and when the demands of life are getting higher.  It is in these times when we require some support and energy the most.  Once you are realizing this pressure, it is then time to quiet your activity level and reflect back to a positive moment. 

With this increase in life's pressure this sometimes will create a lack of clarity of your next steps and you may find yourself paralyzed.  This is when the power of reliving you moments will provide you the vision to go forward.  All of us will get tired and that is normal yet sometimes we are too hard on ourselves with our life.  The demands we put on ourselves are fair, as they are our demands.  The issue is the pace of our demands and the high pressure this will put on us to achieve our own expectations.

When the pace becomes too intense then we will start to lose our focus.  When this happens think back to an positive moment and gather energy from that moment.  The time you take on your reflection is up to you.  You will know you have spent enough time looking back as you will receive a thought that will suggest you now need to move forward. 

A key point is to listen to your internal voice which is your built in internal compass to show you that direction you need to take.  The difficult part will be to not stay in your past of positive reflection for an extended period of time.  As looking back too long will cause you to miss your now and your  future.  Life is about balance and if your balance is lost so will your ability to enjoy your life.  As I shared my memory on my Facebook post, I smiled and felt an injection of energy to finish out my day with purpose. 

Keep your life simple and full by using this process.  Identify where you are at and search for a tool to go over your current obstacles  Live and share your successes with others that helped create that environment of success in you.  Gratitude will help take you where you need to go and attract like minded people that will also add to your life.

The Second Book The 79th Chapter - Are You Making a Difference

Nov 20/17

Have you ever wondered if you are making any amount of difference to anyone or adding value in your work?  If you are making that difference, how do you measure it and how do you improve your difference?

In short, with every thought and intention you are making an impact or difference.  Whether it be large or small your energy will cause a ripple affect with a start of your thought.  With that energy you create from your thoughts, it will expand out to where you have directed that thought.  If you happen to direct a thought to another person, you will have an affect on them, even if you don't have any physical contact, you will leave an impression on that person.

Those impressions overtime and if they are repeated will have a larger impact on that person.  As we are all based on energy and can feel the affects of that energy, it is vital, we only extend kindness in our thoughts.  Some of us man not fully understand why we are feeling a certain way after we are directed with this energy but it does cause a sense of uncomfortableness.

I would like to share a story about my blogging and I was questioning what the value was for others reading my blog.  I would ask myself, am I making a positive difference or a positive impact in the writing of these sharings.  Not long ago I met up with an old friend and I asked him they very question.  To my surprise and without hesitation he indicated he has read each one and he expressed the fact value was added by the time he spent reading them.

In that moment I realized I had an impact to a person for over a year and a half and I didn't realize it at the time.  Furthermore it reinforced the fact that with each thought I am impacting others and my own reality.  John Maxwell often will comment to lead others, first you need to lead yourself.  Which has shifted my thoughts to the interaction of thoughts and limited time I have to write.

Another friend of mine once made a comment to me that has stayed with me.  That comment was make sure you use your time wisely.  I have integrated that comment into my daily routine now.  When I am building my thoughts in that moment I am asking myself, am I using my time wisely?  Will these thoughts and time I am spending be creating a positive difference or not?

Most of the time, yes I am trying to create positive thoughts of time however there are moments I catch myself off base with my thoughts and I realize I am wasting time.  I have to be careful on how I am spending my time as I will sometimes drift away from my focus.

The pattern of awareness is key and once we are aware, the true value of who we are as a person becomes apparent.  The sense of accountability then is on us with this gift of knowledge followed quickly by awareness.

What is your choice of difference going to be on the outcomes to you and others?

The Second Book The 78th Chapter - When Do You Focus On Your Growth

Nov 13/17

How do you know when to push forward on your growth and when to pause?  Do you know what to focus on in your moment?  Can you recognize your particular feeling that signals your need to push forward with your growth?

I was thinking about success and how do we actually taste our successes.  Then my thoughts went to the pioneers of the North American Continent and some of the actions taken by our previous generations have not been all positive over the hundreds of years.  Yet as a human race we are still trying to evolve and move forward.  With all the firsts we have achieved, to the first main in space to cures for diseases, there is a common trait in all we do to reach success and that is to never quit with each failure toward the goal. 

That common trait is our ability to move forward in the moments when we least want too.  Can you think of something you want to achieve but it is difficult for you?  What is that dream for you that you want to master?  For me, one of them is to have a higher level of physical activity that leads to me maintaining my physical health.  I have realized that my physical health is also connected to my emotional health and they are both directly impacted by my choices. 

Something that I have always enjoyed doing, once I start doing it, is running.  The feeling of the physical effort and the sense of accomplishment I feel once I have complete a run is actually quite addicting.  Now that I have a set routine for my run, most days are pretty typical and do take effort to complete the run, but I would not consider this effort difficult. 

What I have observed on my running routine is the days when I least feel like running.  Perhaps I didn't sleep well the night before or it can be as simple as I really don't feel like it.  It is in those moments, when I push past my self-imposed barriers, that I grow the most after the completion of the run.  When I force myself to put on my running shoes and start my journey, it is during the first few minutes that are the most difficult.  Yet as I near completion of the end of my run, each step taken seems to become easier.  It is in these moments I have the highest return on my investment in both my physical ability and emotional health.

I have realized that in the moments I least feel like doing a growth exercise is the moment to focus on my growth.  When I was able to climb out of my static phase is when the most I could feel the positive return on effort.  This pattern is the same in all of the success of our known history.

Almost all leaders as some point in time want to give up and give in to average but they don't.  This is the trait in them that allows them to be a leader.  That fire that is ever burning and can not be extinguished except by themselves. 

The pattern to focus harder to achieve your goals when you least feel like it is of vital importance.  As it is in these moment you will enable yourself to move forward.

The Second Book The 77th Chapter - Sharing Experiences and Increasing Value

Nov 8/17

Have you wondered how to increase value in others?  Can you think of a time when someone added value to you?  Remember back of how that person has made that impact on you. 

All of us deep down want to provide value and to be valued by our tribe.  Sometimes as our life goes on we forget how important the simple things in life really are. 

I know when I was in my previous managing role there was a time I lost my balance.  In my work world I excelled however at the cost of my personal life.  I realized what I enjoyed doing and I was good at the gift of conversation and increasing the value of what others thought of themselves.  Through that gift of conversation I am able to leave a sense to that person of an increased value.  I now practice that fully in my personal life as well.

As I am creating this book there has been several times while I am writing that a random conversation occurs.  One has remained with me as a conversation that has left value in both me and that other person.  This conversation occurred with the waitress I had that day while I wrote.  It happened at the end of my lunch while I was paying my bill.  It started out the typical general talk but quickly she shared she is also a writer.  Turns out she creates self development reads based on her life's experiences and from these experiences she shares of how to improve the readers life. 

So a very similar style and format of how I create.  I asked what her current status is in having her book published.  She stated that she has tried the traditional way with several publishers however at this time she has not had success in getting her first book out there.  I then shared my story of how I self publish and how easy that process is.  I could immediately see by that sharing the spark of hope come alive in her eyes.  I offered to provide any help I could to help her achieve her goal of having her book out to the world.

The gift I received from this brief interaction was I was able to help someone else.  My goal is to daily make a positive difference in everyone I see.  If you are unsure of how to start enjoying your life perhaps it's as simple as one conversation at a time.  Focus on what you want to achieve with each moment and repeat.  Allow the natural flow of energy to carry you to where you want to level up.

Take some healthy risks to get out of your comfort zone.  If you remain in your comfort zone you will never grow into your potential as a human being.  When I first started having random conversations, I wasn't very good at it and I was nervous.  Now it comes easily and I am allowing my natural gift to make a difference with others.

What do you want to do different today?  How are you going to be different today?  When are you going to take your action?

The Second Book The 76th Chapter - Maintain Long Term Connections

Nov 6/17

Do you desire a close inner circle of friends?  Have you seen other people with many strong friendships, and wanted to build that in your life as well?  Do you know how to accomplish this?

We are all social creatures, and we need to belong and interact with a tribe.  I view a tribe as a group of people that helps us when we are weak, and that we give back to when they need our strength. When I was younger I kept my guard in my interactions with others.  So high were my walls that I didn't let anyone in, yet I longed for a strong base of friends.  I am naturally an introvert and I enjoy being alone.  However, once I got older I realized that due to this lack of exposure to good people, I was limiting my opportunities to level up.

I knew I didn't have all the answers, and if I wanted to learn more, that others would freely share their experiences with me.  I worried that if people shared with me, they would expect something in return.  I realize now that I have a healthy inner circle of people, the environment is one of giving with the hope, and not the expectation, of reciprocation.  I also realize that the effort I put into creating and maintaining positive relationships is vital.  Even amazing people will drift away if all I do is take from them, or wait for them to contact me.

I learned to allow balance to come into my life, and if a thought of a friend comes to mind, I will reach out to them.  Moments of thoughts like these are the universe’s way of talking to us.  These thoughts arise from an intuition that someone needs our support, or we have a gift for someone else. Listening to these clues from the universe can help guide you to act in a way to add value, for yourself and others. 

Once I started to follow this pattern in my life, I noticed a strengthening of my band of fellowships.  My inner circle began to grow and now I am maintaining these long-term relationships at a level I didn’t experience before.  I also noticed that almost all conversations start with: "it's great to hear from you and I was thinking about you."  In my past quite often, I wouldn't reach out to others when these thoughts came to me,  for two reasons: the fear of extending myself and choosing to be vulnerable, and of course, the concern that they might want something in return.

Reaching out is sometimes about choosing to be vulnerable to judgement and rejection. It’s a hurdle that takes self-compassion, and recognition of your own value as a person, to turn into a habit. Truly reaching out is not looking for validation from others, but looking to give them validation and energy.

If you are already effectively maintaining long term relationships, when is the last time you have taught this ability to someone else that needs this skill to level up?  Perhaps one conversation with them will plant the seed of awareness to start growing this habit. Teaching others the habit of reaching out, and the courage to build it, is powerful way to increase the strength of connections in your inner circle. If they take your example and run with it by teaching others, imagine the impact on your greater community, all started from one conversation. Strong connections are like well-maintained roads, which allow the traffic of kindness and understanding to flow freely back and forth.

The Second Book The 75th Chapter - Master Our Thoughts Master Our Life

Nov 6/17

People talk about their success and will give you direction of how to replicate that success in your life.  With that direction, what does that really mean to you and how do you actually apply that direction into meaningful results?

Helpful mentors are keys to all of us to key growing and learning.  Yet it needs to be deeper than a surface of following a set of given instructions for our success.  People make millions packing their products but I wonder how much value individuals actually utilize from these products?  I completely agree with this approach of people sharing and creating their energy to survive, as that is what I am currently doing as well.  I think most of these products will provide value to people that buy them but how do you fully utilize the opportunity and integrate these new concepts to your life.

As I thought about this question my mind drifted to the power of our thoughts.  The thought process in your mind is your driver and will determine of how fulfilling your life can or will be.  Once your awareness has been raised and you find your alignment passion then go out and buy your development product.  The next step is to use this product into shaping your thoughts into mastering your thoughts on what you need to improve in your life.

This is a long process and that length of this process directly relates to the effort of the thought that you put into this process.  For the accountant types, this pattern is similar to an account ledger.  If you have more days of positive thoughts this will result in you to be in the black on your personal ledger.  The higher the level of black the sooner you will realize your success.  All of which is directly related to you in the amount of effort you put into your quest.

My thoughts turn to my kids and I remember when I was a younger parent, I didn't feel I had the skills to parent at the level I wanted too.  I recognized that even though I didn't know all the correct steps to do at the time.  I did realize a direct correlation to time invested in my thoughts and result outcomes of raising my kids become directly related.

The idea of just to start to do something on your goals comes to mind.  Once you start doing you will learn what to do.  This pattern replicates in all forms of learning and once a start has occurred you can never unlearn.  With raising my kids, I always know I could have improved however now both kids at a young adult age are independent and happy.  As a parent, isn't that a great gift and really I feel my goal was accomplished.  To have two individual amazing children adding value to our society is a blessing.  They have taught me the importance of mastering my thoughts to help master my life.

Over the rest of today, this week, this month and this year, what are you going to do with your thoughts?  How are you going to integrate your thoughts to create your next steps to live your life?

The Second Book The 74th Chapter - Give Vision

Nov 3/17

Do you have the ability to see the big picture?  If you do, do you help others see the vision as well?  Or perhaps you feel the need to see more than you have before?

To see the big picture of your reality, to some this ability comes naturally and with ease, hence we view them as natural born leaders.  To others that don't have this ability it can be taught.  If you find yourself wanting to see more and your not able too and you are not sure what your next step is.  You can relax as you have just completed your first step on leaning your vision. 

Now your next step is to identify someone you know that just seems to get "it" and ask if they will teach you.  This process development time will vary depending on your relationship with your vision mentor and how much time you spend working your new skill.  Once you learn your skill of vision then it is your obligation to freely give this gift of sight to others.

My story on this is about a good friend of mine that I have known for about 6 years now.  We first met when he joined my training team at my former position.  I remember meeting him for the first time in the interview process and how much youth type energy he showed.  Any question asked of him he had an answer of how to solve the question.  He also had deep and insightful life experiences that he brought to his new role.

As he started in his position, he quickly made new positive work relationships and accomplished many new tasks at his work.  With all this positive qualities it became quite apparent he lacked the ability to see the big picture.  Due to this lack of ability he was not able to utilize his full potential.  John Maxwell has stated leadership is influence, nothing more nothing less.  As he couldn't see the big picture when he had to lead other leaders he wasn't able to articulate the importance of his vision, as his vision didn't exist.  His lack of ability in this one area had nothing to do with his attitude, in fact his attitude was always positive.  When you don't know you don't see and that is not a reflection on anyone's competence.  The reality is once a leader identifies this issue in a team member, competence directly transfers to the leader as well as accountability of the performance of the team member. 

It was at that time we started to meet on a weekly basis on training the skill of seeing the big picture.  The overall theme was to debrief on his last week and ask him from his perspective how it went on building his vision.  Did the conversations and projects all have alignment on what the organization required of him to increase the overall value?  Most of the time through his own reflection he was able to identify where he succeeded and where he needed to improve.  When he wasn't able to answer my questions, I would provide him with direction on next steps.

This process took about a year and once he saw the vision he couldn't unsee.  We still remain in touch and I will never forget his excitement as he shared with me that he is now teaching others this process.  I knew at that moment that each moment spent with him will continue to remain and grow.

In that moment I knew I had a small part in his growth and the high sense of self-satisfication I felt was truly a gift.

Out of a rating scale of 1-10, where would you rate your vision?  What are your next steps going to be?

The Second Book The 73rd Chapter - Grow Your Perspective

Nov 3/17

Have you ever wanted to expand your perspective of life?  As you thought about that, have you wondered about a possible way to accomplishing growing your awareness of the world?

As I continue my quest to learn more, I also asked that same question.  One way I found to grow my perspective is to travel.  To travel, it doesn't mean to spend a lot of money on a trip but it is a simple as mentally traveling out of your current mindset.  Of course to be able to physically travel, will expand your perspective quickly to others way of life.  From the interaction of others that will provide you with experiences and thoughts you would have not achieved on your own.

There are so many ways to travel and grow your view of your reality.  To grow your reality of understanding will provide you with more of life's gifts.  It will also provide you a competitive advantage in your ability to gather energy to survive.

My story of travel today is the start of posting my spare room in my house on-line for travelers to stay.  This process hardly cost any money to get started yet once the room was on-line people started to come.  All of the people that have come so far have added a greater perspective and added value of their gift of conversation.

One guest in particular was from Kuwait and his visit has remained with me.  One evening we were sharing about our cultures and the general idea of exploring our world.  As the conversation progressed he commented on his observation of how much his travels have added to his life.  One observation he has was some folks are unaware of what is out there in the world and don't seem to have a desire to become aware.  His comment was not one of judgement but one of wonder of why some folks are not curious to grow their perspective.

My thoughts drift to John Maxwell and one of his quotes - "When is the last time you have done something for the first time?"  Ask yourself where would you view yourself currently in your growth cycle?  Are you wanting to learn or are you content to stay as is?  If your okay with staying as is, I highly encourage you to change that mindset.  With that mindset you are starting to build your mountain of regret.  This mountain of regret will grow all your life and when your out of time with this life;  you will be crushed with your mountain of regret.  All the things you weren't aware of, suddenly you will be and your gift of time will be wasted.

As you read and your awareness is starting to grow you do have time to adjust your course.  It is a simple as a start of creating your thought in your mind.  With this start you will feel your awareness growing and your perspective.  This growth of perspective happens with the re-engaging of your imagination, that you used so often when you were younger.

Where will be your first trip location be to grow your perspective?

The Second Book The 72th Chapter - Live Your Passion to Fill Your Dream

Oct 24/17

How do you grow into your dream?  Or have you wondered how to even identity your dream?

It took my until my early 40's to start to identify I wasn't living my dream.  With the start to my realization of my lack of my dream, it took another few years to be able to feel and see my dream with clarity.  One of the hardest things I did was to give up my security of my know work for 20 years and to exit out of the traditional workforce.

This is a key point to integrate into your life is to take your jump of faith, for taking that first jump will lead you to your passion.  Believe that you have inside yourself more than enough to provide the energy you need to survive.  However if your unwilling or unable to make a drastic life change to shift your alignment, you will give up your gift. 

This special gift in you is your passion and your passion is your gift.  The pattern of risk and reward will apply in you in unlocking your steps to ultimately unlocking your passion.  For me, once I started to follow my passion it allowed my dream to become clear.  I remember attending a John Maxwell conference and in that conference I learned to follow opportunities when they are presented to you.  Even if it is a small opportunity, it is a start and it will also provide you with validation of your dream.  It will provide the answer if this dream is the correct dream for you.

I was exposed to this idea about 8 months ago and during that time I have worked hard on following my passion.  That passion is to write and share my life experiences and through this act of sharing, my goal is to help others see value in themselves. 

The specific steps that I took to get to my opportunity was I  first realized I wasn't living my dream.  From that point I changed my career direction and once that happened I started to make choices based on my passion.

One of the people I met at this conference was Mark.  Mark and I remained in contact over the last 8 months and have encouraged each other to grow into our dreams.  About 2 months ago he asked if I would like to come down to support his goal and to also speak about my first book.  I knew at this moment this was an opportunity and I gratefully took it.  Even though this was a small step of one event, I knew this was time to validate my path.  I was able to come to a place where I can fill my dream and that is to connect with one person at a time.  With this one event it added to my passion and I realized as I spent time with this group of people, I was in fact adding value and creating connections.

This investment on myself was already paying off and through following my passion I have unlocked another door of my dream.  The beautiful thing about a dream is that once your follow your passions this dream becomes unlimited in its capacity to provide value to you and others around you.  The only limiting factor to your dream is if you stop your growth.  Growing and your dreams are not linear and they will expand to the size you want your dream to become. 

The Second Book The 71st Chapter - Hard Yes For You

Oct 23/17

Have you ever struggled with the skill of knowing when to say yes to others when a possible opportunity came your way?  Do you wonder how to place balance in your life?  It is not possible to say yes to everyone that asks something from you, based on factors of your time or your financial resources.

Around 8 years ago I was in a place in my life where I said no to everything.  There was two outcomes to this behavior.  One was I was not living life and the other was I lost the ability of know how to say yes.  I didn't know what opportunity would provide value to me and I didn't know who to trust.  With this cycle of no's, the deeper I went to a dark place of not feeling the joy's of life.  In that time I didn't even know what I was not feeling, all I knew was I was on the endless treadmill of life and not growing. 

These same general patterns would occur and my choice was to punch into the time clock of my daily life of normalcy.  The spark of change happened with my separation from my wife followed a year later by a divorce.  Even though I knew I was making incorrect decisions for me prior to my separation, I didn't make any decisions at that time to create a different outcome for my life.

With the process of change in growth being slow in me, I had no idea of what to do next.  I remember watching a movie by Jim Carrey that was called "Yes Man".  As I watched I could feel I could relate to Jim's character.  So one of the ideas planted in my thought pattern was to say yes to everything that was asked of me.  It was beautiful the change that I noticed of actually feeling a positive outcome from my choices of yes.  Once this process started, I soon realized I lacked the ability to say no, very similar experience to Jim in the movie.

What I learned though was by saying yes to all kinds of opportunities, I was able to learn the skill of when to say no.  It took sometime but over time I was able to recognize a pattern of the results of saying yes.  The biggest gifts I received by saying yes was a to start to live life and have the confidence and ability to know when I had to say no.  I realized I have to figure out what I truly wanted in my life and once I determined how I wanted to live my life the decision process came easy.  All I had to do when an opportunity came to me was to first ask myself does this line up to where I want to take my life?  From that brief moment of reflection it was easy to say either a yes or no in that interaction. 

The biggest gifts I received by saying yes was to start to live life and have the confidence combined with the  ability to know when I had to say no.  The foundation of what I wanted to do with my time I had to create.  Once that was completed the decisions of whether to say yes or no was easy.  All I had to do was think about my foundation of alignment and if this new opportunity was on my life's course.  It was like an individual snowflake coming together with millions more and formed a snowball which is still growing which each moment of my day.

Because I say yes, even when I didn't know why, I had realized that my growth now has no ending.  If you want to feel the joy of life, start today by saying yes to one thing that you would normally say no too.  Through this practice your life of fog will start to clear and you will know your way forward with purpose and feeling. 

The Second Book The 70th Chapter - Power of Reflection

Oct 15/17

Have you used the power of reflection to adjust your course?  Do you use the process of reflection combined with being in the moment?

When I was younger I was not aware of the power of reflection and how to use those moments to help show me if I am in my alignment.  I was always in a state of constant hurry and always looking forward to the next goal. 

My sharing of this experience of practicing the act of reflection happened today.  This morning I was standing on Navy Pier in Chicago and just completed doing my weekly live video blog.  It was in that moment I paused, I thought of the journey that took me to this moment in time.  I just finished doing my first speaking engagement in Janesville, WI and was on my way back home.  I had traveled all this way by myself and was following my initiation on this journey to here.

At this moment I'm not sure where I will end up however I know this experience is adding to my life.  As I reflected, I remember back to when I was a young shy boy growing up on an isolated farm in central Alberta.  At that time I would never imagined I could have the courage to follow my dream.  When I was young I never knew of the gift of travel and the depth that it provided to me as each new travel experience is completed.

The education in travel can never fully be explained our understood until you travel.  It provides a level of awareness that is not possible by any other way.  To be able to experience other people and cultures in their way of life is a special gift.  As I completed my speaking engagement, I could feel real connections being created.  Once again something I would never had thought I would be able to do.  I know I have the gift to connect with others but I didn't think I had the courage to leave my safety kennel.  I did experience moments of being fearful on my travels yet I pushed forward.

So as I reflected and looked around Navy Pier and realized how far I have come, I have taken this energy and use that force to set the seeds for my next adventure of growth with purpose.  To achieve the success you desire in your life, it is vital that each decision and action you take is in alignment of your passion.

Using the results of what you have accomplished this far, measure it to your moment and ask yourself if you are on your course?  If so, then create your next steps and plant your seeds to grow into your next goal.  If not, compare your reflection to your moment and ask what you can do to improve.  Look at your goal and perhaps you need to readdress your strategy and take bite size chucks on the way to your goal vs trying to complete the entire goal in one moment. 

With that correction you will be able to achieve what you want and need.  Remember if you currently don't feel you are not in your correct spot for you, your not, and by the power of reflection you will unlock your next doors to your success.   

The Second Book The 69th Chapter - Understanding Others

Oct 20/17

How do you identity with others at a higher level to connect?  Have you ever wanted to understand others better?

When I was growing up I had a grand father that was a positive influence on me.  He made his living for quite sometime being a mechanic.  He loved the challenge of taking someone's broken down property and then fixing it to a state of improvement even before another repair was required.  I also noticed some irony in him, as his own vehicle barely functioned yet the work he did on others added value.

At the time, I didn't wonder the reason to why this irony was in place but just accepted it.  Not long ago a friend of mime made a comment on an observation of teachers want to learn and healers need to be healed.  This caused me to pause and as I thought about this I realized this observation is a key component to understanding others better and from that understanding allows real connections to form.

One way to understand others is by their life choices it will indirectly show us what people value and focus on.  Even without knowing a person, when you first met them, you can lower the time it takes to get to know a person by adding this skill with your first conversation.

My thoughts turn to my children and how they have the skill to understand people so much faster that I can.  I believe with the ease of access to information their generation has experienced has allow this skill to grow faster in them than me.  When they were younger the vast amount of information they had access too was able to start the learning process sooner in them.  As true learning is not linear, I am very excited to see where their growth leads them too in their life's journey.  Learning and growth is not static in nature so this skill will then too accelerate over their life.  They now have the ability to connect to the world and through that connection leads to a greater understanding of others.  Using the multiplier effect, in theory this growth will be unlimited.

If you are not sure the direction to take in your life and how to create your energy to live.  Firstly focus on your natural ability and not focus on the momentary reward of different positions.  By paying attention to others life choices, you now can replicate that skill in your own life.  Next combine your information you just learned and integrate your understanding of peoples choices to your next steps.

I look onto my kids example with excitement as I am grateful for the gift they have shared with me.  A lot of us have a goal to win in life and tools like these are examples of how we can be more successful.  As our mindset grows, so does are capacity of increasing our influence on our direction.  Also with a an increased level of understanding of others that will increase the level of compassion in our communities.

In this moment our communities need positive leadership more than ever.  It is our job and duty to step up today and start leading others with understanding.   

The Second Book The 68th Chapter - Living Your Peace

Oct 20/17

How do you capture and hold onto your peace?  How do you start to put your dream into action and benefit from that energy? 

When I was younger, I was often filled with moments of unsettledness  and a feeling of something is missing in my life but was unsure of how to fill that void.  In our society today there are thousand of different ideas, developmental plans and ideology to pull into our life to make us a complete person.  The quick fix is to pull something that attracts you and to lean on that new addition to make you a whole person.

In my experience this would usually not have a lasting effect and I was always looking for more.  Then I realized to bring in new ideas to my life does add to the person I am and that I had to assemble the pieces in a form that provides my purpose.  So the main difference as I grew was I didn't lean on one item but put several different positive influences together. 

One key component to find my peace was to start to follow my steps to living my dream.  My dream is to make a living providing value to people everyday and to show them they already have the greatness in themselves.  Now with ever conversation and interaction the people I connect with are left with a sense of increased value as I practice connecting their bridge to their greatness.  This has been a life long journey for me to get to this point of starting to create my peace.

I remember back as a young child that one of my grade school teachers commented that I would never amount to much and I should be more like the rest of the class.  That statement took years out of my true growth however I also know that statement has given me more motivation to follow my dream.

Fast forward to a week ago and I was boarding a plane to travel to Chicago for my first speaking engagement in Janesville, WI.  Picture a little quiet farm boy from western Canada that was told 30 years ago he wouldn't amount to much, now having the opportunity to live my dream to provide value to others.  As the trip unfolded there is on example I would like to share of one of my interactions. That was, a person I met on my trip just had a meeting with Paul Ryan a few days before I met with him.  When I heard that, I was hit with a positive energy flow of support of know I was living my dream.

My past searching of my building components to locating one and finding my peace were satisfied at a high level and in that moment.  A feeling that remains with me and is not fleeting life some of my other past choices.  I also know my dream is not fully written yet and there is work I need to complete.  But I know by these choices and by my actions I am benefiting from living in my peace.  I also know that like the success of the rules of nature that I need to continue to repeat this process with a razor focus. 

The Second Book The 67th Chapter - Enjoy Others Growth

Oct 19/17

What is your vision of mentorship and how you will be able to see the results in someones growth?  How will you recognize these moments of growth?  What is your goal in the feelings that are created in that moment of someones growth?

About six years ago was the stating steps for me in my changing of my leadership strategy.  In the early stages of my change, I had more unknowns of where this new approach would take me vs. the knows.  I knew the way I was currently leading at the time was not value add, I realized I was doing the same task over and I realized a effective leader would be providing an environment where the team would start to take over recurring issues.  Not only would they handle these issues but come up with now process that would eliminate these issues.  In short I was  creating a environment where people became follows and not leaders.

All it took to start for me to grow in my leadership path was the self-awareness of my need to improve.   I believe growth in  leadership will never stop and to be an effective leader the ability to always change your leadership style is paramount for effectiveness.  One area of leadership I want to focus on is providing encouragement to a person or team.  Once the basic tasks of a job is learned then people need support in their development.

As I started to practice a focus on encouragement the results were almost intimidate in the fact of increasing the comfort level of the people on the team.  I noticed individual members start to have a lighter energy around them and start to share more ideas of how to repair ongoing issues.  All of this was a great start but I had no idea where this type of encouragement would led to in individual growth within the team. 

All of the team started to grow in their own way and I want to share about on individual's growth.  The moment I want to share took about five years for this moment to occur.  With my change of leadership style a higher level of relationships started to be create by spending quality time together.  In this individual I started to share how I was starting to write my first book.  I shared with him how it was an emotional experience of when I posted my first blog.

Sometime had passed from that sharing and then one day he shared he always wanted to write but didn't know where to start writing.  Which I gave some ideas and encouraged him to start putting words to paper.  With that conversation it started a pattern that emerged from him that was meaningful with the creation of his first work.  At that time I asked him to share with me his writing and he was ready to share.

Approximately six months passed and we met again.  The excitement in his eyes I will never forget when he asked if I wanted to read his first three stories.  As I read I was overtaken by the quality of his work.  A diverse array of emotions came over me as I read and how quickly he could paint a visual picture of his words spoke to me.

As I looked up after reading, he almost had tears running in his eyes of the sharing of his growth.  In that moment I realized the full effect of seeing someone grow and a sense of enjoying his accomplishments.  How can anyone even measure the value in that moment?

I think anyone that leads others is typically wanting to grow themselves and effective leaders are truly wanting their people to become leaders as well.  Where would you place yourself on your ability to led yourself and others?  Where do you place your level of integrity in a position of influence?  What is your story of growing others?

The Second Book The 66th Chapter - Notice Natures Beauty

Oct 18/17

Have you heard others comment on the natural beauty of nature around you?  When that comment was made, what was your reaction?  Could you fully relate to also seeing the beauty as well or did you not fully understand the level of beauty that others were seeing?

If you have felt the comfort from nature you know that feeling.  If you have not recognized these words and what they feel like, perhaps this could be a new life experience you could add into your life.  In my journey of life there was a time I couldn't relate to really feeling natures beauty.  I would hear people comment on the majestic mountains and how amazing there are but I had a blind spot.  However I realized there was something missing in my growth ans I couldn't relate fully to these majestic type experiences.

This was another question I asked myself and wanted to gain the knowledge to know what this skill was.  The foundation of understanding comes back to my choices and if they were in my alignment to unlocking my own greatness.  I realized the more I made choices of what I thought others wanted from me, the more I lost myself.  The more foggy my creativity became and I wasn't able to feel natures full beauty. 

It took me a long time to realize the pattern I was creating in my life.  In my journey I remember finally started to realize the feeling of harmony when someone would point it out.  With the passage of time I was able to feel nature harmony and beauty by myself.  I remember about a month ago while I was riding my bike in the area I live.  I noticed the colors of the trees starting to change.  Several shades of green to oranges and reds.  In this moment I paused and sat a moment as I realized what had just happened.

The full realization of harmony occurred and the effect of the hard work of changing my life choices was felt.  If you would like to have this gift, start out by observing who is coming into your life, once this awareness is growing in you.  Once you identity someone that understands this concept then start to ask questions.  Through the use of honest questions this will allow you to uncover your blind side.  This will also be a sign you are starting to grow and tap into your fountain of youth.

As to want to learn and grow this will create a mindset of youth in you.  The impacts will be unlimited of the positive benefits you will feel in your life.  As the benefits add in your life, you will start to have an overflowing feeling of energy which will result in your harmony that will spill into others.

By integrating this pattern into your life it will allow you to move from ordinary to your extraordinary.  I encourage you to be extraordinary, as it is in you once you start to follow your path and will become unstoppable. 

The Second Book The 65th Chapter - Recognizing The Flow

Oct 16/17

How do you know if you are in your zone?  What are indications you are moving with your flow?  How do you recognize your flow and integrate this flow in your life to leverage your efficiency? 

This might sound complex to integrate into your life yet it is actually quite simple.  To have this concept in your life is key to making the most of your life on a daily basis.  Small choices and planning of your days activities will enable small results of improving your efficiency, which in turn add up to large gains in you being able to receive your value.

Have you ever found yourself endlessly looking for required items on an on-going basis?  For example looking for your house keys?  It might not seem like a large waste of your time looking for your keys, yet every time you engage in that type of activity your are wasting your energy.  Each time events like this happen it is slowly robbing you of your limited energy for the day.

It's in your choices of planning that can start to make a measurable impact for you and paying attention to patterns that are emerging in your life.  Another example of how to recognize patterns in your life is being in heavy traffic.  As your driving, pay attention to the flow of traffic and visualize where your destination is located.  If your in multiple lanes of traffic and you need to change lanes, as you visualize where you need to go.  Suddenly almost magically space will appear in another lane and you can then change your lane. 

These are moments to recognize your opportunities to allow the ease of your flow and the need to make changes with the least amount of expended energy.  With the use of this concept you will start to feel a difference of the feeling of increased energy.  As you start to make these small changes of movement of where you want to go, your direction will become clear.

Your huge massive goal starts with your first step and keep repeating that step until your success is realized.  It's through processes like these you can start to actualize the dreams you have that will take you from ordinary to extraordinary.  Like your biggest idol in your life, you too will be able to achieve your dreams.

With this increase of flow in your life you will notice you will start attracting like minded people.  These same people will help provide you with the support you need to see your dreams come true.  Everyday you will need to have the relentless focus on recognizing your flow and practice this every spare moment in your day.  Chances are high your idol that you look up too, does some kind of razor like focus and uses this concept.

All great things take a plan and dedication to that plan, which you can freely access.  Where you go with your gift is up to you and your outlook.  I encourage you to live big and take your steps to change your current reality to live your dream.  Your first steps will be difficult and uncomfortable but they will become easier.  Hence this cycle of climbing your mountain will provide you increased amounts of energy by what you are achieving.

The Second Book The 64th Chapter - What Are You Attracting

Oct 2/17

Have you wondered the reason you are attracting the people and events into your life?  Are you looking for a gauge of your mindset by looking at what you are attracting?

When I was younger I didn't believe in the power of my thoughts will bring to me a reality of those thoughts.  A good friend of mine is on a personal journey of growth and is in the process of sharing his growth.  Just recently he shared a video of him talking about the law of attraction.

In that video he shared an experience of going to a book store looking for a rare book.  Before he went he envisioned that he would find that book.  When he was in the section looking for the book a stranger started to talk to him.  He asked what book he was looking for and the stranger said I just saw that book in the wrong section.  He took my friend over to that section and showed him the book and it also was the last copy in the store.  To add to this experience, I am currently doing some social media work where I post quotes from my first book  The very idea of what I shared this morning is to write down you goals and they will appear.

I had created that post a few hours before I saw his video.  The timing of his book experience and me writing my quote was almost at the same time.  When I watched his video I commented of how incredible it is of his book experience and then I share my post.  Both of us felt the positive effects of how both of our choices are creating our positive reality.

We both are attracting positive life growth experiences.  There was a time in my life when I was attracting negative energy experiences.  These continued to happen for years and I didn't understand why that was occurring to me.  What I realized now is from what was coming into my life, I now use that as a gauge of my mindset.

That was the starting point to start bringing in my positive energy and I used this concept of the law of attraction as my measurement of my current mental mind set.  When you hear about people talking about operating in their frequency and are attracting more good to their life, this is an example of the use of the law of attraction.  As you sit for a moment and reflect, what are you currently attracting into your life?  Do you need to make any course adjustments?  Is it struggles and conflict or handwork and success?

If your not sure, over the next seven days write down any experiences that come into your life that are not a part of your normal day.  During the seven days how many events are adding value to your life and how many are taking away from your life?  Based on these results this will provide you with a strong indicator of your current mind set and what you are attracting into your life.

From that point either maintain your current strategy or do a course adjustment to your strategy.  From this point you will need to practice and have patience with yourself  for your new skill set of thought and changing your reality.

The Second Book The 63rd Chapter - Pay Attention to Your Compliments

Oct 1/17

Have you found yourself in a place where your unsure of the value of your work?  Or perhaps not sure of how to get out of a negative cycle of self-doubt you may have put yourself in?

Changing our negative personal habits is one of the hardest things to complete in our life.  Usually these habits are not adding value to our day and need to be replaced with something of value.  With the replacement of value than growth will have room in your life to take root and flourish.

One of my negative habits was the one of self-doubt and not sure of what others will think of what I have created.  I still will sometimes struggle with this negative thought process however now I am able to identify what I am doing with my thoughts, which results in me being able to change my mindset. 

I remember when I was stuck in this negative loop, I asked for help of how to escape my self-imposed purgatory.  This help for me came in a form of a visit to my counselor at the time.  I was going to counselling at the time as I was questions many things of my reality.  Things like how to parent as a single dad of two teenagers, work life balance and relationships.  Then in one session this topic came up on how can I build up my energy level to escape my negative cycle.  She asked me if I ever pay attention to people around me when I am given some positive recognition.

I paused for a moment and realized no, no I usually skip over anything positive sent my way.  She asked why I did that, I thought long and hard and I didn't have an answer at the time.  She then asked me if I pay attention to when someone criticizes my work and questions the value.  Without out any hesitation I knew the answer and said yes I do and from that point I will take that feedback and work harder.  As I relayed my answer to her I realized I just answered my own question.

That is the need for balance and to also recognize the positive feedback given to me as well.  In addition to look at where the negative feedback is coming from and ensure this feedback is in my alignment which will help me grow. 

In some cases I needed to change out some of my closest influences as the interaction was aiding me to remain in my negative cycle.  This is where my hard work now started, to slowly, one by one make choices for my next step that was in alignment for where I need to go in my life to live life.

Take comfort in knowing this hard work can change your life and you will feel positive results with the relentless pursuit of growing yourself.  These positive people in your life are there for a reason and learn from them.  But more importantly pay attention to your compliments as from them, this act of  added to your thought process, you will start to feel a change.

The Second Book The 62nd Chapter - What To Say

Sept 29/17

Have you worked hard for a goal and now finally an opportunity is coming and your unsure of your next steps?  You can feel this opportunity is in your alignment but yet fear is creeping into your thoughts.

This is occurring to me at the moment with an opportunity that is taking form in a large public speaking event.  A close friend has influence in a large organization and once he learned how far I have come with the sharing of ideas with others, he immediately started to formulate a plan.  A plan that will allow me to level up my exposure of my quest to connect people to their greatness that is within them. 

It was with excitement I knew this is going to happen yet very quickly fear of doubt came into my mind.  I had thoughts of what do I say in front of that large crowd that will prove the time spent will be valuable for them?  What if I have an anxiety attach and my thoughts become blocked? 

This goal I want to accomplish as I know this is a challenge for me and I noticed I immediately it raised my awareness of asking myself what are my next steps.  I first asked what is my weakness and an area that I struggle in.  Quickly I realized it was live public speaking at a large scale.  Intimate settings I am comfortable and know I am providing value to others when I am presenting.

As I thought of a strategy to tackle my weakness, I also started to formulate a speaking plan that will be valuable to the audience.  Then I thought how can I practice in a large scale environment of being live.  So I turned to my social media account to explore my speaking by going live on my Facebook page.

My goals are short 5-6 minute videos on this book and share general experiences I have.  While I am doing my brief narrative I want to practice putting my thoughts in order while I present.  I am so excited to say I have completed my first live broadcast this morning.  I know I have room for improvement but the point is I did it.  I am actually applying my strategy to create my ability in this type of enviroment on what to say.

I was nervous before going live but I pushed though this feeling and mentally focused on my target goal of improvement areas as I spoke.  Once I completed the video, I could feel a sense of accomplishment.  That sense of accomplishment was driven from the completion of my goal.  This is just a small step but I know these small steps will take me in the direction I need in this life.  It also provided me a sense of knowing I am on the correct path for me.  It was almost like the up coming evening was unfolding as I spoke live in the broadcast.  A sense of creating my own reality is getting achieved and realized.

Take a pause now on your new opportunity to identity where you need to develop an area of weakness into an area of your strength for you.  Once you start developing your weakness you will know what to say and what your next steps are for realizing your success. 

The Second Book The 61st Chapter - Can You Stand Your Silence

Sept 23/17

Have you ever asked yourself, am I a complete and a whole person?  As you have aged have you filled your voids through your own growth?  We are all born young and full of potential and with that potential there will be many holes in our being.

One of my most difficult journeys has been the filling of my holes.  Most things in my life come easy to me in learning new skills and being able to apply these new skills.  All except for one, that one is my ability to be able to stand the sound of my silence.  Up until recently all my life I needed some kind of stimulation.  I now realize this stimulation was used to put temporary band-aids over the holes in me.

The reference of asking myself if I am a complete being is something I avoided to do in my past.  By the act of grabbing my band aids it would temporary provide me with a sense of the feeling of being complete.  For me my biggest struggle was to always have a personal relationship at the cost of my emotional health.  The fear of being alone was stronger than the fear of the future in an unhealthy relationship.

The reason I didn't want to be alone was I knew deep down I was needing to work on me to become a whole person.  The hardest thing I have done in my life is to honestly look myself in the mirror and address my issues.  By staying in a relationship that person was filling the holes in me and for a while I did feel complete.  As with the passing of time eventually my holes would show through and end in another failure of a relationship, which was quickly followed by my more emotional pain. 

That cycle of failure was repeated in me several times before I realized what was the root of the cause at these cycle enders.  I noticed the harder I pretended I was ready and a full person, the quicker the cycles became.  With the increase of frequency this came at a cost of my losing more of myself and the loss of my identity.

There is not a secret pill for you to recognize this patter and we are all different in our speed of growth.  For me I finally just became wore out and stopped engaging in the creation to fill the holes in my life.  After the stop occurred, it took me about a month to fully realize the meaning of this pause for me.  I realized that I could not stand my silence so that is why I continued to engage in my own unhealthy and self sabotaging behavior.

With the behavior in my past I didn't see the pattern of my choices and the impact they were having on me.  The feeling of not being a complete person did always remain yet I didn't have any solutions I could unitize to correct this feeling.

I encourage you to take your pause now if you can't stand your sound of silence.  Even if you don't know how to create your strength to become whole, you will discover that once you enter your pause. With your pause you will be able to see the forest and the trees and with your clarity,  your work can then start on you.

The Second Book The 60th Chapter - When Was The Last Time You Were Scared

Sept 19/17

When was the last time you pushed your personal development zone and you scared yourself and stepped out of your normal comfort zone?  After you scared yourself did you notice a sense of satisfaction for your push into new territory?  After that rush feeling of accomplishment was over did you notice a feeling of growth?  How much time did you spend realizing what you just achieved?

When this would happen with me in my past, I would focus on that rush feeling of accomplishment, in a sense acting like an adrenaline junkie.  While this did provide value to me, it was never lasting and that rush feeling was fleeting.  When that would happen I was in search of my next big quest to scare myself again by taking the risk of doing something new.

I knew I needed to explore to grow but I was missing the substance of the full experience.  By feeling that full experience it allowed me to have long term sustainable satisfaction and happiness on my accomplishments.

I would like to share a story that happened to me today.  As some of you know I have a passion to create value in others through the use of new concepts of old ideas.  I know that to fully leverage my creative value that I need to capitalize on all venues of social media.  I have a passion to be a speaker and to be able to speak to large audiences throughout the world.  I also know large scale public speaking is something that is difficult.

It is difficult for me because my anxiety comes up in me and causes me to lock out my thoughts.  Usually my thoughts flow easy to me and I add value to conversations I have but with my heighten anxiety this sometimes does not flow.  All my well thought out ideas are replaced with no sound to my voice combined with a sense of panic.  As I know this is a weakness, I know I need to practice, however as this doesn't come easy I have tried to avoid any kind of live speaking and the use of notes.

So over the last few days as I know I would have to do my second live broadcast and integrate the improvement from feedback on my first broadcast.  Finally after two days, I decided this morning of a plan and a action item for me to complete.  The plan was to send out the message that I was going to start a live broadcast this Sunday.  Once that message was complete, I then would upload that live video to my YouTube account.  All of which I completed in approximately two hours.

I was terrified yet I pushed forward and immediately after, a sense of the feeling of accomplishment and rush was felt.  This time I didn't stop myself at the rush stage but allowed myself to feel the sense of accomplishment where true happiness was growing.  Using this example and by keeping this process simple I know I have to continue to repeat as this will build a life of success.

When are you going to push yourself to grow from your fear?

The Second Book The 59th Chapter - Believe Your Vision

Sept 19/17

Do you hold yourself to high standards and with these standards you question your direction that your vision provides you?  How do you know when to proceed or pause?  In short you do both at the same time with balance.

In my formal leadership role I was given the opportunity to grow more than my job description.  It was three years ago I brought an idea on change process to an already successful company.  It took almost a full year for that concept to evolve to a point of fact finding and looking at how to apply the initial process changes.  It took an additional year after that for the needle for change to shift of culture within the organization.

During that three year incubation period, I continued to bring up other ideas as well and paused initially during the first year of this process idea change.  The strategy of the two points of proceed and pause was utilized.  If you want to grow and add value, use the this concept everyday.

Integrate your ability to bring up and share your vision with more than one topic.  Whether it be work or personal life, keep aligning up your visions of next steps and applying them.  When valuable concepts need to be paused, for a number of different reasons, allow them to pause.  This pause time is critical for your visions to come to a reality.  It is better to pause then to proceed through with your vision, as by pushing too hard may cause the end of your vision.  The key importance of managing time needs to be applied here.  This can be explained by when driving a car when you come to a corner you need to slow down to safely take the corner.  Once the turn is completed then acceleration or the concept of to proceed can then be applied to allow you to arrive at your destination. 

You will feel when it is a time for a pause and during that time information from others will support your motivation for a pause.  Completion of your vision will provide you a valuable experience that your vision was accurate to what others now view as value.  By practicing your ability to execute these two points of strategy you will be able to almost unconsciously lead others.  Most importantly this success will help you build your ability to lead yourself.

In my example it took a year to start any change and at first I was unsettled and frustrated.  However my focus of change was to be grateful and to gather strength that my idea of vision was one that did increase the organizational value. 

My past I would have spent a lot of time with this sense of frustration.   That sense of frustration provides absolutely zero value for anyone including me.  My take away was to proceed on tasks when the opportunity was there and let pause's be what they are, just a pause and not an ending.

The pattern of balance and harmony is required for success.  With allowing the pause to exist that adds to the need for that harmony in the required areas of your life.  This experience has been another treasure of understanding self.  With the understanding of myself, that has led to me having a true sense of long term and sustainable happiness.

This feeling I have been searching for such a long time but up until recently has eluded me.  I have realized true joy and growth can not be from outside of me.  No amount of outside stimulation can replace the hard work that is required within me.  I also realize happiness will not remain without consistent work on my balance. 

The Second Book The 58th Chapter - Gift of a True Friend

Sept 19/17

Have you felt the need to grow your strong and positive inner circle but are unsure of how to accomplish this?  Do you feel the need to grow an ability in your lift through the mentorship of others?

I had that feeling and specifically I value creativity of art and have a desire to learn more about writing.  I grew up as a conservative capitalist views with a strong focus on creating value that truly matters in the form of material things.  This environment of growth and shaping of me in my younger years was not a direct result of teaching from my parents.  In fact it was a trait that grew up in me from my parents over zealous acts of kindness to others.

Kindness to others is key and that something that we all should strive to do.  As a young child though when I experienced a lack of resources it became a struggle for me to embrace the fact of these resources were being given to others.  So this is the driving force and focus for me, as I went through my early teens I did not see the value of creativity.  I also know as a teenage boy I did lack the understanding of life and had selfish thoughts that revolved around me.

It wasn't until my early 40's I started to realize how much I enjoyed writing and sharing with others.  Once this writing started to occur the need for even more creativity surfaced in me.  From live theater, books of all kinds, to embracing someone that is creative at their core of being.  All of which I highly appreciate but also recognize the importance of balance.

This is when another true friend shared with me unexpectedly with me one evening.  I randomly received a text suggesting I should tune into a local community radio broad cast.  It was filled with a mix of deep light music and words of poetry.  All of which provided me with a deeper connection for the realness of life.  It helped me to over come a sense of loneliness and grew my realization of growth over the last few years.

This is a true friend and thank you Robbie for allowing yourself to share with me.  I have an excellent group of inner circle friends but what I have found in my growth is a deeper connection with these people.  All of which is driven by truly understanding myself and ensuring my actions are lining up to my true self.  The use of communication skills is another key factor as I share with my core of being of creativity with my inner circle.

Most times I have been meant with understanding although there are a few folks that fade away.  I have focused to keep this process simple in my life and by doing this, I am growing my success of having true friends.

Focus on what you truly want and keep repeating that process of working towards that in your daily life.  It is like a small rotation of a peddle that will enable you to reach your destination with the millions of small rotations.  Success in friendship will come to you and more importantly it will remain with you.

The Second Book The 57th Chapter - Realize Your New Year Resolutions All Year

Sept 18/17

How many times have you made a new year's resolution with the start of a new year?  Once those are made how many of your resolutions are successful?  The ones that were not successful, what is the reason why?  What would your life be like if all of your new year's resolutions became successful and placed into your daily reality?

I would like to share of how you can integrate your new year's resolutions all year long and be successful with them.  First I want you to think about what is success and how that relates to you.  When I first started writing my two goals were accomplished by setting my bar of success at a realistic level.  That was for me to heal and grown and to help at least one person. 

When your starting your goal, keep the bar of success high but not to the point where it drives your failure.  My thoughts turned to my son and when he first started to ride his peddle bike without the aid of training wheels.    He practiced all summer with his training wheels on when finally the time came he wanted to ride without the aid of these wheels.  He told himself, once the training wheels were off he would ride successfully with his first try.  So he set his bar incredibility high and it was an all or nothing type of success measurement that he had set for himself.  He told himself he would quit trying with the failure of just once and ask to have his training wheels reinstalled.

So the time came for his first ride without the aid of the wheels and he was not successful to complete his first try under his control.  When that happened his own psychological contract came to play and he quit mentally.  At the time I provided him support and encouragement he needed but more importantly I was able to ask him questions of what went wrong.  By the use of these questions he recognized his internal bar for his success was set to high.  Then magic happened, he changed his measurement point of success to one of to try vs. be able to win and complete a peddle bike race.  As he tried his second time he successfully rode his bike for his first time under his own control.  He was able to create his greatest wish repeatedly and with each revolution of his peddle, he was able to improve his skill.

Whatever your resolutions are at new years, ask yourself what is your bar of success set at?  Then with this concept start to integrate your life's improvements all year round and do not wait for a special day for the starting of your goals.  By waiting to start your important goals is time spent wasted in the pattern of practicing to rotate your peddles.  Also with carefully identifying your bar of success you will be able to complete your stretch goals you have set for yourself.

Then the magic will start to happen as almost without effort and  without fulling realizing it at the moment, you will start to accomplish your goals.  The overall impact will be the shifting of your mental mind set from I can do it vs. I have failed again.  This is a mindset that will enable you to find and to also leverage your greatness. 

The Second Book The 56th Chapter - Success is Easy

Sept 17/17

Have you ever created something and saw some results and then asked yourself now what?  did you find that using your passion your success seemed easy?

As we experience life we will feel that once something is achieved it feels easier than at the beginning of our journey.  At the beginning we see obstacles and have to talk ourselves out of quitting on this task.  Well the good news is you have realized your success and the bad news is the even harder work now begins.

Over the last two years I had a focus on growing and with that growth I was integrating that into my work.  I was seeing success and momentum was accelerating and then in one moment my job ended.  At first I had a moment of this is not a big deal and I can handle this challenge with the tools I have learned. 

I realized about four weeks into this new journey that reality just became tough.  It was another two weeks after that of me trying to run away from this reality.  The harder I ran the further away I was from starting my hard work to find my place.  Then in one moment I realized my current path I was on would end up with me running out of time.  At the time I didn't know where I would end up however I knew if I didn't change my strategy I would never get back to a place where I felt value.

That  moment when I actually looked deep inside of me and asked what am I going to do is when that shift of mindset occurred.  I realized that no one was going to help my succeed directly when I had my defeatist attitude of mindset.  I realized great and successful people can only afford to surround themselves with others of the same mind set.

It was up to me to roll up my sleeves and get to work.  So once you have experienced your success of your hard work prepare yourself to work even harder to push through your next valley.  All the work you have done, you don't want to lose it because you will if you don't start to change your mind set.

I remember at this time I also had an ankle injury and wasn't able to run.  I had trained myself for three years to get to my level of physical activity and I remember wanting to quit.  I just happened to meet an individual who was an avid runner and encouraged me not too.  Thank you for him I didn't quit and I just recently completed my first 10 km official run. 

Yes the three years of training was hard but the moment to start again after the ankle injury was even harder.  I realized initial success is easy by following my passion but long term success to overcome challenges is very difficult.  I now have a higher lever of awareness and I am equipped with a new skill to push through difficult times.