The Judas Within the Love of God: A Reflection on Free Will, Divine Love, and the Mission We Each Carry
If God Is Love, Can There Be a True Opposite?
We say it all the time: “God is love.”
And we mean it. We believe it.
But do we ever sit in that truth until it rearranges us?
If God is truly love—not just loving, not just kind, not just generous—but the essence of love itself (1 John 4:8)... then we must wrestle with what that means for the rest of the story.
Because if God is love, and if He is also all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-present—then He cannot be the author of hate, destruction, or abandonment. Those things don’t come from Him. They come against Him.
Which leads me to a question that once unsettled me deeply.
What About Judas?
What about the one who betrayed Jesus?
What about the one who sat at the table, dipped his bread, and still walked away to trade the Light of the World for 30 silver coins?
How do we fit that story into a narrative where God is all-loving and full of goodness?
Most of us have been told Judas is the cautionary tale. The backstabber. The greedy thief. The doomed soul. The one Jesus called “the son of perdition.”
It’s a hard story.
And for years I tried to hold that image in one hand while holding onto God’s love in the other.
But what if there’s more to the story?
What if—just what if—the mission of Judas was not one of damnation, but of volunteered sorrow?
What if Judas didn’t ruin the plan… but fulfilled it?
Time: A Measure for Man, Not God
Let’s pause.
One of the biggest things we forget when we try to understand God is that He exists outside of time.
We measure life in days and decades. We see beginnings and endings. We define success and failure through sequences. But God is not bound to time. He created time for our sake, not His.
He is the Alpha and the Omega (Revelation 22:13)—both the beginning and the end—and everything in between. That means God does not wait to see what will happen next. He already knows. He already exists in tomorrow. And yesterday. And forever.
Now imagine this:
Before the foundations of the world, before Adam’s breath or Eve’s rib, before light split from darkness—there was a plan.
A plan to redeem. A plan to rescue.
A plan that required betrayal.
A plan that needed a human face to play the part of one who would carry the sorrow and the judgment and the guilt.
What if, in that pre-time eternity, a spirit stepped forward and said, “I will carry that pain. I will walk that lonely path. I will do what no one wants to do—not for glory, but for obedience.”
What if Judas volunteered?
The Ultimate Obedience or the Ultimate Fall?
This idea doesn’t remove Judas’ free will. It expands it.
It reframes the betrayal—not as a failure—but as a chosen act of fulfillment.
If Judas was only created to be evil, then God is no longer all-loving.
But if Judas had a choice—and that choice was somehow made in submission before his earthly birth—then what we see as a villain may have been, in God's eyes, a vessel of prophecy.
We struggle with this because our justice system craves blame. We want to label things: good vs. bad, saint vs. sinner, Peter vs. Judas.
But God sees the whole heart. God sees the intention behind the act. And God sees the story behind the man.
The Prophecy That Needed a Judas
Psalm 41:9 says:
“Even my close friend, someone I trusted, one who shared my bread, has turned against me.”
Jesus quotes this in John 13:18—just before pointing to Judas as the one who would betray Him.
But notice something: Jesus chose Judas. He called him. He walked with him. He washed his feet.
He knew what was coming, but still showed him love.
Why?
Because the betrayal was part of the plan.
Jesus said in John 17:12:
“While I was with them, I protected them and kept them safe by that name You gave Me. None has been lost except the one doomed to destruction so that Scripture would be fulfilled.”
So Scripture could be fulfilled.
So prophecy could be completed.
So salvation could reach us.
Does that sound like a man who “messed up”?
Or like a man who stepped into destiny with a broken heart?
What If It Broke Judas Too?
It’s easy to say Judas was selfish. That he did it for money. That he was greedy.
But what if he was also confused?
What if he thought he was helping Jesus take His throne?
Many historians and scholars have suggested that Judas may have believed Jesus was going to overthrow the Romans, and that pressing His hand through betrayal would force the revolution.
When it didn’t go the way he hoped—when he saw Jesus captured, silent, suffering—Judas broke.
Matthew 27:3–5 tells us:
“When Judas, who had betrayed Him, saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse and returned the thirty pieces of silver… ‘I have sinned,’ he said, ‘for I have betrayed innocent blood.’… Then he went away and hanged himself.”
Seized with remorse.
Not pride. Not triumph. Not defiance.
Remorse.
This was a man who realized the weight of what he had done—and it crushed him.
Not because he was evil.
But because he was human.
And maybe… he knew all along it would end this way.
Maybe that was the sacrifice.
If God Is All-Loving, There Must Be Redemption
Here’s the deepest tension:
If we say God is truly all-loving, then redemption must be available even to those who fail us the most.
Even to someone like Judas.
We know Peter failed too. He denied Christ three times. He swore he didn’t even know Him.
But Peter came back. Peter ran to the tomb. Peter threw himself into the water to reach Jesus after the Resurrection.
What if Judas had just waited three days?
Would he have found grace?
Would he have been restored?
I believe he would have.
Because our God does not delight in punishment.
He delights in mercy.
Micah 7:18:
“Who is a God like You, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression…? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy.”
That’s our God.
And so if we truly believe He is love, then Judas—even Judas—was still loved.
And if God loved him, perhaps Judas’ story wasn’t an accident, but an offering.
Three Ways to Accept Our Role and Serve God With Love
This story should not cause us to fear our calling—it should invite us to trust the One who gave it to us.
Judas' role was hard. Yours might be too. But whether you are called to build, to break, to lead, or to serve in quiet—God is still writing His story through your obedience.
Here are three ways to walk that path with love:
1. Surrender to the Mission—Even When You Don’t Understand It
You might not know why God asked you to walk through a storm. You might not see the outcome.
But obedience isn’t about knowing—it’s about trusting.
Jesus trusted the Father even to death.
And Judas—perhaps—trusted enough to play a role that history would never thank him for.
That’s not a curse. That’s devotion.
Whatever your call is, do it fully. Do it with love. Even if no one sees.
Because God sees.
2. Ask for Grace When the Burden Feels Heavy
Judas carried sorrow. So do we.
But we don’t have to carry it alone.
Unlike Judas, we know the full story. We know the Cross was not the end. We know Jesus lives. And because of that, we can come boldly to the throne of grace (Hebrews 4:16).
Don’t hide your pain. Don’t run from your doubt.
Bring it to Jesus.
He washed the feet of His betrayer. He will hold you too.
3. Love Others Even When They Don’t Understand Your Role
People may not get your story. They may judge you, misread you, betray you.
Love anyway.
Jesus knew Judas would betray Him—and He still washed his feet.
Let that example shape you.
Don’t let bitterness take root. Don’t become cynical.
Live with hands open, heart soft, and eyes on the Kingdom.
God sees your obedience, even if others don’t understand it.
Final Thoughts: The Love That Holds It All Together
This story—Judas’ story—doesn’t cancel God’s love.
It magnifies it.
Because if love could stretch to include even the betrayer… it can reach you.
And if love could use even the darkest act to redeem the world… it can redeem your pain too.
There is no opposite to love when love is perfect.
There is only resistance.
There is only misunderstanding.
But love remains. Love conquers. Love—God—never fails (1 Corinthians 13:8).
So serve Him. Not out of fear. Not out of duty.
Serve Him with love.
Because in the end, that's all that will matter.
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