Are We Drawing People to Jesus—or Pushing Them Away?

 Are We Drawing People to Jesus—or Pushing Them Away?

As we walk through life claiming the name of Christ, we must continually ask ourselves: Am I reflecting Jesus's heart? Am I drawing people toward His love—or am I, even unintentionally, pushing them away?

Sadly, there are times when Christians—especially those who have walked with the Lord for many years—can become rigid, overly critical, or harsh. Instead of being salt and light in a broken world, we can allow our passion for truth to become a weapon of division rather than a bridge to grace. The truth must always be spoken in love (Ephesians 4:15), but love must never be abandoned for the sake of proving a point.

Jesus: The Perfect Model of Love and Grace

Jesus modelled a kind, loving, and accepting spirit throughout His earthly ministry. He welcomed sinners, embraced outcasts, and extended compassion to those the religious elite had rejected. Consider how He responded to the woman caught in adultery (John 8:1–11). The Pharisees were ready to stone her, but Jesus stooped down, wrote in the dirt, and said, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her” (v. 7). One by one, her accusers walked away, and Jesus said to her, “Neither do I condemn you… Go now and leave your life of sin.”

Jesus did not condone sin, but He led with love, compassion, and mercy. He invited people to repentance through relationship—not shame. And that should be our model as we relate to others.

Kindness: The Fruit of the Spirit

Paul reminds us in Galatians 5:22–23 that kindness is a fruit of the Spirit:
"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…"

When walking in step with the Holy Spirit, kindness will be a natural result of our transformation. Harshness, bitterness, and judgmentalism are not fruits of the Spirit. If these attitudes are present in our lives, it’s worth prayerfully considering where our hearts may have drifted from Christ’s example.

The Danger of a Hardened Heart

The longer we walk with the Lord, the easier it can be to unintentionally become prideful in our knowledge or experience. We may forget the gentleness of our first love and the humility of our own salvation story. Harshness often comes when we focus more on rules than relationships, more on appearances than the heart, and more on being “right” than righteous in love.

Romans 2:4 asks a vital question:
"Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, forbearance and patience, not realizing that God’s kindness is intended to lead you to repentance?"

If God’s kindness draws people to repentance, how can we expect our harshness or condemnation to do any better?

Called to Be Ambassadors of Reconciliation

Paul says in 2 Corinthians 5:18–20 that God has given us the ministry of reconciliation:
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation… We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us."

That means every interaction, conversation, and response we give should be seasoned with Christ's grace and mercy. We represent Him, not ourselves.

Jesus never hesitated to speak the truth, especially to religious leaders who misrepresented God’s heart. But His harshest words were never directed at the broken or the lost. They were aimed at those who claimed to know God yet lacked mercy.

Am I Drawing People Closer to Jesus?

This is the sobering question we must each ask ourselves: Is my spirit one of invitation or rejection? Are people drawn to the peace, grace, and joy in me—or are they turned off by a critical, judgmental posture?

1 Corinthians 13 reminds us that without love, our words and actions are empty.
"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal." (v. 1)

People may hear our theology, but they’ll remember our tone. They may forget our words, but they won’t forget how we made them feel. If we reflect Christ’s love, they may want to know more. If we reflect only self-righteousness, they may never look His way again.

A Gentle Spirit Honors the Lord

Philippians 4:5 says,
"Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near."

Gentleness is a strength, not a weakness. Jesus said in Matthew 11:29, “Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.”

If we are following the gentle and humble Savior, our lives should look more like His—gracious, calm, kind, full of understanding and patience, even in the face of disagreement.

How Do We Begin?

1. Self-examination and prayer
   Ask the Holy Spirit to show you where your heart may have become hard or your words overly critical. Pray Psalm 139:23–24: “Search me, God, and know my heart… See if there is any offensive way in me…”

2. Return to the Gospels
   Spend time in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John reading how Jesus interacted with people. Let His love wash over you and reshape your posture.

3. Ask others for feedback
   Invite trusted friends or family members to honestly share whether your spirit feels warm and accepting—or cold and closed off.

4. Commit to kindness
   Make it a daily goal to speak words of life (Proverbs 18:21), to listen before speaking (James 1:19), and to respond to offense with patience and gentleness (Colossians 3:12–14).

Closing Encouragement

The world is full of judgment and cruelty. What it needs more than ever is a Church filled with the Spirit of Christ—compassionate, open-hearted, and deeply rooted in love.

Jesus said in John 13:35, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

Not by our sermons. Not by our theology. Not by our moral stances. But by our love.

Let us never forget that our mission is not to win arguments but to win hearts. Not to point fingers, but to point to Jesus. Not to create division but to offer the hand of reconciliation.

If we keep asking ourselves, "Am I drawing people closer to Jesus?"—and we allow God to soften any hardness in our hearts—we can be vessels of healing in a hurting world.